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now

standing in line at a grocery store
smelling like sex

thoughts flitter smoothly like bubbles floating in air

she
(our life together)
is the premontion that feels like a lightly-toasted buttery memory

memory from a past existence I never lived
but

I never was me
until her.

Author notes


Written November 8th, 2003

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 8 of 8
  • No--Name
    January 28, 2004
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    The end had such a powerful effect on me, probably because I can relate so much to what you said..love the way I sort of float around in a happy bubble when I have happy memories and thoughts stored in my head =) and you brought it out so well! keep it up


  • pulsating
    November 24, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    This is soooo clever.. smile, xoxo

  • bluemoonfly
    November 11, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    I like what you did with the idea.
    Brilliant, just as you always are.
    I love you sooo much, Brand.


  • Torn Aura
    November 10, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent, I'll do my best to be there!!!!!!!!!!
    I love exclamation points too!!!!!!!!!!!
    Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!


  • 100percentbran
    November 10, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Hey! You MUST contribute to the jam tree (that's it's name!) It's sacred because it's shared! Do it!!! Yes!!!! Today I love exclamation points!!!!!!!!

    Bleh. My book is almost ready. I'll have flyers at the store tomorrow. Saturday December 6th signing, too! Be there.


  • Torn Aura
    November 8, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Oh! I meant to tell you, I walked past your grafitti tree the other day. I recognized your handwriting. That is so effin' cool.

    I was going to go down and add something to it, but I was afraid it was sacred.


  • Torn Aura
    November 8, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Ok, I'm sorry, but underneath the "Add a Comment" (right after your poem) there is tiny type that says - "Please try to be diplomatic" I find that extremely amusing. Don't ask me why.

    Anyway, on to this.
    I it.
    If you ever doubt that you are an excellent writer, just look back at this poem - a novel in 10 lines.

    Also, take a shower. Sheesh.
    *holds her nose*



  • November 8, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    this is good. i feel the same way about my newfound lover. i can actually be myself for once, to where as in the past i had to put a mask on to be accepted by my significant other. anyway well, i like the part saying "standing in line at the grocery store, smelling like sex" thats so hott..! :: drools:: anyway this is a kinky yet sweet love poem.

    SuZy
    Edited on Nov 08, 3:12 p.m. because 'because i screwed up a word while having sex'.

1 - 8 of 8