I am as tempting
as a lobster laid out on ice
(they do not see my loosening links).
Sanity runs deep
within my veins
(they wish to sup on plasma - the space between).
And gorging themselves
on what is (at least in part)
urinary fluids,
they fly off to be caught
by the review section.
The reader giggles.
Author notes
Believe it or not, I hid a meaning deep down in this nonsense. Yeah, I know, no way! But it is there for anyone who is freak enough to find it.
k8fairy
A contest entry
- Anything and EveRything! by Poetic Obscenity.
450 points, ended January 6, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-writes & Fresh Writes Welcome Here! by LadyUnique.
300 points, ended January 17, 2008, 65 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Improvements?
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
Thank you for the entry, but this is not what I'm looking for in the contest. I think it's interesting, but all the decoding takes away from the readers experience. It's very interrupting.
-
clever title
it pulls a reader like me in. I'm a sucker for good titles 
thanks for entering and best of luck
-
ARGH! I wish I was more intelligent or wise...or had less inhibitions or I could just let go...*hmmm*
I must figure out this poem! Ok, Title...very nifty, quite clever....Mozzie's Buffet was actually the part that attracted me the most, instead of the draw afterwards that made me giggle...ooooh! the last line mentions giggling...hmmmm, so perhaps the meaning is to not look for the meaning and accept the inside joke??? Uh, perhaps I am overthinking this...STANZA ONE!
"I am as tempting
as a lobster laid out on ice
(they do not see my loosening links)."
Links could refer to; "computer links, Link the character, cuff links, links in a chain, a lobsters claws or whatnot, insanity, something sexual...(hmmmm)...ooh, I keep on getting this image of a happy peace rainbow gun...uhhh-to the lobster! The lobster is...loosening his cufflinks for dinner! Like...a stripper/iceskater (pulled in the ice...
!!! So you feel as hot as a stripper/iceskater lobster on ice? Wow...STANZA 2!
"Sanity runs deep
within my veins
(they wish to sup on plasma - the space between)."
Ok, plasma is the stuff between the blood cells, I presume...soooo...just because sanity is present does mean it's found in the most likely places??? Sounds good...STANZA THREE!
"And gorging themselves
on what is (at least in part)
urinary fluids,"
A continuation...ahhh, oh! Ok, heres goes: your sanity also has a lot of shit in (like, pointless fluff) that you should disdain, but you ingest anyways because it's cute or shiney...(like rainbow buttons). But back to the computer analogy...urinary=binary...BINARY CODE! Wow...that's a strecth...but, I'LL TRY IT! So...STANZA 4!
"they fly off to be caught
by the review section.
The reader giggles. "
The thoughts are sent to the readers minds to be unscrambled into some "meaning" that really doesn't exist but because you hinted at it the reader blindly works through your poem for an hour looking for it in vain writing an insanely long comment only to realize at the end that it is not about a stripper/iceskating lobster full of shit who dines on imparital sanity in cyberspace but really...it's an inside joke on...me?
I giggle
~Hippie
-
-
Poor hippie, I hope I haven't broken your mind.
Your idea of what I mean seems more interesting, maybe I should make it mean that, yeah that is what I will do. I've stolen your idea . . . um . . . how does one go about doing that exactly? Will you submit to invasive brain surgery? -
-
if it involves free food and toilet paper...
I'm so curious as to what the real meaning is!!!
Please tell me...*pouty face*
If it involves a stripper, then I'm really good..
~Hippie -
-
Sorry no stripper.
It was kinda about mozzies, kind of about people who steal my ideas, thinking they are all reasoned and stuff, but their really crazy pointless crap not thought through, and as soon as anyone tries to use the idea on someone who knows anything they get destroyed by a critic of some type.
Based on someone stealing my mooting idea, which was a shit idea, but I made it sound good enough to steal apparently.
I like the stripper idea better, man I wonder if when my flatmate turns 21 we can get her or him a stripper, I hope so, but I think they are pricey, and I don't have that stuff that pays price, and I don't think I really want to see a budget stripper. -
-
Sorry for my lack of education, but what is a "mozzie"?
There are cheap strippers...but, they're too be...dealt with carefully...I'll strip! I'm exactly a master in the profession, but I pick good pole music!
~Hippie -
-
That is kiwi slang for mosquitoes, those annoying blooding sucking insects, more akin to gold diggers than strippers. Have you been to pole dancing class? They have those classes everywhere here for *exercise*
-
-
It really does work wonders, pole dancing...better then jogging and shiz...really good poledancers, not those you just shake their ass, but those you flip upside down and stuff are AMAZING, like gymnists, really...
Thanks for the info...*mozzie is now my new fave word!*
~Hippie
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Ha ha ha ..That is so cute. I love it. It's so simple and kind of reminds me of the blonde From "House of 1000 corpses" && "The Devils Rejects"
How she giggles when she kills someone and is still so innocent. I love it, Great job.
=DThank you for entering and good luck
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
