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The thoughts of a Castle

If you touch me with your finger, you’ll be the beauty I am

My bold and elegant outline

Highlighted within the cortex of tranquillity

Slowly absorbing the sweetness of the blue heavens

 

If you glide me with your hand, I’ll take you with me

On a journey to a far away land

Discovering new tales

Whilst boldly flying over the chequered kingdom

Protecting the sides of my thickened wall

 

If you touch me with your finger

I’ll take you away

Take you deep

Within the realm of fantasy

 

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Draig aine gold member
    December 11, 2008
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    thanks

    it is great when you find another writer who you can soar with, you want to drink their words you are most talented


  • Draig aine gold member
    December 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Well done

    If you glide me with your hand,
    I’ll take you with me
    On a journey to a far away land
    Discovering new tales
    Whilst boldly flying over the chequered kingdom
    Protecting the sides of my thickened wall

    how completely yu draw the reader in well done


  • Whoochi gold member
    January 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ohhhh simply beautiful...I love the feeling of this, almost mystical and metaphorically masterpieced...well done my fav British Biachy! Congrats on the bronze....Muah...xoxoxo


  • arafura gold member
    January 18, 2008
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    Well written! I liked the chequered kingdom line... lovely imagery! Good luck in the contest!


  • Silent Cougar Moderators member
    January 13, 2008

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    Holy Mama, this is an avenue I,ve expected to see, but as yet, have been blinded too. What a crafty way of describing such an eventful desire. Now where did you learn to play, cause this is the sort of game I,ve been looking for, haha.

    No, seriously, a lot of thought went into this write, that is plain to see, and it has cast a shadow across the defences of a reseptive queen, cornered by pawns just waiting to rebirth. Great addition to the contest, thank you.


  • Michael A. de Melo
    January 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Stunning

    Laura,
    I've sat here and read this three times. Each time I've gotten a different impression from it, and each one was brilliant. You describe a journey, while taking the reader on one. Excellent.


  • Purush
    January 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    NICE

    LAURA
    HOW BEAUTIFUL THE VERSE IS!
    YOU MADE IT NICE


  • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
    January 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Now that is a sweet journey. Stunning!

  • Justin3
    January 7, 2008

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    I love the personification of the castle in this poem, it has an almost spiritual feel to it.Great write!


  • Amera gold member
    January 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is great and I’m so glad to see your muse has returned. This is beautiful and I’ll be happy to touch you with my finger; let’s go on that journey.

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    January 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow this is an amazing take on the prompt and is so powerfully penned like the piece had a voice. wel done and best of luck

1 - 11 of 11