Feeling like Gulliver I wandered around
this garden so precious I'd only just found,
inhaling this magical scene with my eyes
I suddenly felt I'd been reduced in my size.
I walked through a forest and came to a farm
father and son filthy, yet working such charm
forking the hay from a loft built with care
these two had obviously planned this with flair.
I then came upon a station, the train ready to go
with steam bursting forth, the driver his face all aglow,
'Hop aboard' he replied as I asked for a ride
'Let me show you around, I'll show you my pride'.
His thoughts at the ready, the steam started to pump
off the train went with a clank and a thump,
past a hotel where the men waved and cheered
sorting world problems while drinking their beer.
Through this whole place the train took me along
when nearing the end the steam wasn't so strong
'We're nearing the end' he said sadly to me
'I've lived a great life, now it's time I was free'
Rounding the last bend we came to a stop
as I suddenly felt that the curtain had dropped,
now he was coming to the end of the line
this world he built now an enduring shrine.
Author notes
Prompt-
I have written a poem , strange that, painting I hope a picture of a miniature railway being built in a garden.
Please read The world in a garden (by cricketjeff)
Then write a poem about a ride on the train.
In a list
A contest entry
- Another Picture in a Poem prompt by cricketjeff.
550 points, ended January 15, 2008, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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The sixth line and the last line could do with some work on the scansion so the flow works all the way through. Other than that a really nice poem and a lovely take on the prompt. Unless someone else enters or one of the other entries is greatly improved you'll be getting gold when I wake up.
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excellent...!
This is a fine take on the prompt I think. You have drawn us into the picture and allowed us the reader to be the witness of this world in miniature! Good luck in the contest!
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A very good rhyme!
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wow this is an amazing take on the prompt gran and i love the delcate flow and imagery within this. well done and best of luck
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