A lifetime ago
Such perfect feeling
Unannounced hiding behind
Condensation
Floating, dissolved
Into my eyes
Smiles within
Holding close
Their body lieing
With every twitch
Reading it
But holding close
Never letting go
A static glow
Resounding within
Vibrations build
Willing their return
Within a finger's hold
But never to know
Again
Forgiveness sought
But they'll never know
Can a person be covert
Converting falacies
Between Autocracy
Beaurocracy
To speak but never be heard
I hope not to forever be silenced
But a smile and a nod
To know they remember
Behind a perspex plane.
Beyond that sweet
Sweet
Aspartame
Author notes
I have read the rules, understand, and agree to abide by them.
I haven't decided which option to put it under. It's a combination of 1, 2, 3 no idea if it's any help on 5 though
A contest entry
- Deltitnu - An instant must-enter... by Salig Flicka.
400 points, ended January 30, 2008, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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I really like this poem. Great job on this write, I really like this inspiring poem, it's really very well done. Thank you for your entry and good luck in my contest.
~Maria -
wow...
A truely inspiring piece, wonderful use of words and the thoughts and feeling really come through. The flow is wonderful, and the verses really connect...i especially like the first and fifth verses! amazing! great work and keep it up! -
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Thank you too! I'll really need to re-read this thing! I only wrote it a few days ago, but I can't remember what I wrote any more. I'm glad you enjoyed it!
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What a great poem...I love your language and words, makes you think many thoughts of relationships. Great write! Best on the contest!
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Thank you kindly! The comment is much appreciated!!
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Great! I love the aspartame allegory. Fake sweetness. Like life itself. Some people continue to lie to themselves.
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cooooooolio
Wow you write a fantastic piece!
Keep writing my dear you really have talent using good english and putting them in such a fabulous piece like this...excellent...what inspires you?
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wonderful poem, <3 love!
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A superb piece. You have put a lot of effort into this and it has paid off. Very well penned. Good luck with it in the contest
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Thank you muchly. Some of it's dedicated to someone very, very special to me.
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wow! This was really great. Nice job. I always l<3ve every poem you write, especially the freeverse because you made this flow so smoothly. Nice job, good luck in the contest
~Pandy
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thanksyou muchly!!
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I would like to remind you to please put in your option # and make sure that you read the rules. Thank you so much for entering,
~Avan~
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Wow I really like this. It's good. Good luck in the contest.
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