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Harmony

He is the sun.
She is the Earth.
His solar ways radiate her surface
And she is melted at the core.
Still, she needs more.
He goes right,
She goes left.
Then their paths meet at sunset.
Where the star changes face
And the moon is in its place,
As the sparkle in her eye.
Reflecting his fallen star in her sky.

 

Author notes

Just a little description of day and night.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • xPink-Lotusx
    March 12, 2008

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    Very Descriptive

    What I love about this poem is that you can say so much without using a lot of words. It paints a good image. I love it when that happens, when I can get lost in a poem even when its short. Causes me to want to read more! Very well done, good structure! My applause, you def deserve it.

  • bluehoney
    March 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This poem made me smile. Short and sweet.

  • Today
    March 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I thought it was a very well written poem. I like to write poetry with similar themes and images and I think you tackled the themes well.

  • ecrivain01
    January 6, 2008

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    Not bad ...

    unfortunately, you picked a contest where I already have a large number of really good poems, and yours isn't up to kicking any of them out. That is not to say it isn't a good poem. It is, with not a flaw that I can see. It's just not great poetry, and simply can't measure up to some of the really good poems I already have in the finalist list. It's very difficult to write really great poetry about Nature. Nature poems are a dime a dozen at the best of times, and come in the hundreds of thousands at the worst. Hard to get yours noticed in such a profusion of others.


    • zexzgal
      January 6, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you.

      Thanks for your honesty. That was the real reason I entered your contest because I hate those people who beat around the bush and don't tell you their honest opinion. I hate it when they're like, "it was a great poem," when they really hated it so thank you again.

1 - 5 of 5