she is the intersection of hopeless dreams
Hoping that life isnt what it seems
wandering aimlessly around in the world;
everyone sees just a beautiful girl
Oblivious to all the problems of today,
she continues to move and fight and play
Until one day she trips and falls,
looks up at the world and becomes apalled.
She sits fathoming the plight of her world
on a curb,
broken down
is the heart of every girl
A contest entry
- Make me Feel, See and Smell what she is by PhantomsAngel87.
600 points, ended January 9, 2008, 7 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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You have some deep writings. Along with a great talent for doing what you do. I say again, I'm really enjoying your work. This piece says where all females have been at some point in life. Where did such wisdom come from in one so young?
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Well penned, sister. Love the flow and rhyme. Guess I'm gonna check out more of your writes. One.
Dez
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wow, this was awesome. Great write. i really connected wuth this piece. - cgirl0410
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Beautifully penned. I love the even flow, even rhyme and stunning visual you painted in my mind
Thank you very much for your entry
Best of luck
Stay safe
~Manda
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That's some good shit. The thought and flow was great. It makes you sit back and pounder. Keep it up. Love ya
Ray
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i loved it!!!! i think ur right...
"Hoping that life isnt what it seems
wandering aimlessly around in the world;
everyone sees just a beautiful girl" i loved these lines.. good luck in the contest.
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