I'll enter your contest,
sure, what the hell.
Follow your rules,
it'll be swell.
I won't bash the others,
or Wr!t@ L{k@ thI$.
No dirty pretty,
whatever that is.
No cussing or sex,
and nothing Cliche.
I'll read your works,
to learn what to say.
Peruse through the notes,
that all your friends left.
Brushing your giant ego,
yeh, you're the best.
The wordbank you gave,
was oh so diverse.
Roget would have been proud,
Alcott would curse.
Listed all the words,
you wanted me to say.
Told me what to write,
said you wanted it that way.
Took all of MY inspiration,
and put it on a shelf.
I still can't figure out,
why YOU, don't write it yourself.
Oh! look at the Prompt,
a pretty Unicorn.
Or maybe a picture,
of the day you were born.
Or some dumb ass song,
from a wanna-be Punk.
I listened to the shit,
it fucking stunk!
You wanna have a Quickie?
so let's get a room,
We'll BDSM
I'll wear a rabbit costume
I'm sure DNA will prove,
(as soon as he's exhumed)
That you and Edgar Allen,
are from the same Womb.
You'll tell me what to say,
You'll tell me what to write.
You'll send me a spam-filled link,
to some Teeny-bopper site.
If you haven't the balls to comment,
on this curt little rhyme.
then throw it out of your contest,
and stop wasting my time.
I'll write about your hurt,
I'll write about your sorrow.
Yeh, I'll get on that,
sometime tomorrow.
Author notes
A contest entry
- How do you feel when your poetry is deleted from a contest without an explanation? by Mistermuggs.
900 points, ended January 12, 2008, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - OPEN To anyone who's dealt with a rude person here!!! GIVE ME YOUR LOSER POEM! by Melissa Burns.
335 points, ended January 13, 2008, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest Rules that are Annoying by AddictiveTRUTH.
1500 points, ended February 19, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rebel! by Cinder.
900 points, ended February 23, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Express your "Angst " At any and all Contest Hosts who don't bother to comment on those who enter poems. by artis.
1000 points, ended April 25, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
An honest citique is well accepted
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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haha! Very witty and I couldn't agree more... some contests on here are just a power trip for the holder. I'm still laughing.... well deserving of all the bling.
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at last a rant, that reduces most contests to what they really are, control over others, power to reduce hopeful poets to ignored saps.
simply by bending them to one's will and leaving them like iron over wrought, hung on one's page in a contest where they didn't matter anyway, You certainly put the con in contest with this poem, and yeah there are a lot of contest I don't enter becasue they require so much judgemental control, by the host.
but when one does enter one should at least be given the consideration of a comment on their efforts. thanks for your entry, well thought out, witty and unique.~~and no one gave you gold...how sad..and tellig~~LOL~Artis
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nice compilation of some of what we have to go through for some of tese crap contests, Well done,
Evan
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Hahahaha! I love this. So funny. I concur 100% Stupid rules. I do like word banks though... Oh well. I hate it when they say, "I'm a harsh judge. I will delete what I don't like with no warning." It's my contest I'll do what I want... blah blah blah. haha. Thanks for the laughs.
Infinate clappys
etc.
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You addressed many of the 'common sense' rules in the first three stanzas. Some friends do seem to like anything one writes, because they are friends more than because it was worth reading.
My favorite stanzas were 5, 6, and 7. Some contest holders prefer "creativity...Think outside the box!" when others seem to make the box so tight there's no getting out of it! Those might just as well be considered word coffins, no?
Entertaining write. Quite enjoyed the final stanza.
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you freakn Dork what the hell you never won nothing iin my contests get the hell out
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Great, I love this as you have said what we all think I'm sure and it really made me laugh. Good luck in the contest.
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This is friggen great!!! You can be on my team anytime!!!
Wyatt
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Nice I feel you on this, wow...right, nuff said. Thanks for your entry and good luck.
E♥ -
OOPS! I don't think the host saw the humor in this. But the fact that it was a prewrite should have made it clear that it wasn't meant to be taken personally... You did forget to use the word "cockroaches" though... hehe! Congrats. on all your previous honors!!!
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A fucking piss take. Piss off and do something constructive. This just insults anyone who enters this contest in a serious manner and who have actually studied the form and put a smattering of effort in.
Fucking crap! -
love it... I am guilty of some of this - sigh- but I love this! It makes a good point Thanks for entering my contest - really good as always!
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Oh my gosh that is a marvelous poem dude!
I LOVE IT! -
Very cool... good sense of humor, glad Alias Anonymous involuntarily sent me this way via his comments column!
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I honestly thought that this was a reservation when I saw it in my favorites list.
I got a surprise, and I liked it. Congrats on your silver.
Aden Recreated
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Fantastic piece, love the sarcasm. I know what you mean about some of the contests....makes you wonder, if they are all so good how do they find the time to be here with us mere mortals...lol. Best of luck in the contest...don't think you'll need it tho!
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Shit this makes me want to be D.Q. for my feeble effort.(I should have spent more than three minutes)
I bow my head in honour .
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The best
My entry is so puny, yet yours is soooooo poetic. LOVE LOVE LOVE IT
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I am glad that I started this, because....
even though I was DQ'd for the first time this morning, I feel as if this has been a big eye opener. Thank you for your writing. Good job.
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LMAO
I am still laughing to myself here
What a way to write you are a rebel indeed young man
Good luck to you though
Julie AKA Snake Lady to you
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LMAO!!!
Great Stuff! Full of piss and vinegar and really edgy rebellious tone that's sadly lacking on this site. Thanks for telling it like it is with this in your face piece, and I wish you the best of luck in the contest. This is a winner in my books!
D.M.
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this is great! I laughed as I was reading it, but it is so true....by the time you take their quote, or come up with a new idea....then cram your thoughts into 40 lines or less...or 40 words or less.......it just doesn't seem like your write anymore. I do realize that it probably is to strengthen your 'thoughts' as a poet, but some contests can be very restrictive. I enter a few on impulse when I am in the mood, but by the time I have 'cut' my thoughts to fit, I really don't like my poem anymore.
Great wording, reads nicely.
Good luck in your contest.
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Well, I'm not messing with the person below, but my first trophy came from a contest like that. However, I still agree with everything that was said about it. But - back to point and case - your poem is amazing. This poem made me laugh at first, but in all of its hilarity, I've shared a lot of the feelings expressed and I wouldn't doubt that most of the competitive poets on this site couldn't agree more.
--Daniel (aka: Flare)
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Hahahahahaha! Brilliant!!! So many awesome lines in this and I totally agree. In fact I don't just think it's a few contests like this, I think it's MOST! The contests that annoy me are the "Quickie's", ok I have entered a couple but only when I am truly inspired. But the ones that are like you have 3 words and 3 minutes to write the most profound piece ever. That's just bullshit. 3 words cannot be poetic and you can't write a decent poem in 3 minutes. Yet they still get a shiny trophy! Grrrrrr! God this was brilliant. I loved it! Good luck in the contest but surely you will not need it!!!!
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You've hit maany nails on heads here. I very rarely enter contests myself.
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LOL, Man Your are just looking for trouble aren't ya!!!!
Good poem though 
Love, your other half,
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