Why is it that man
lets apathy overcome
imagination.
He stares at the cosmos.
Its timeless wonder,
believing fervored genius
will dissect it as easy
as dividing a pie.
Claiming the universe
as an inheritance
while the world
prunes man's numbers in
nature's massacres.
Our masochistic wars.
Moving about,
blinded by passions.
No braille reader
to understand our
own nature.
Ebullient in diatribes
of progession in knowledge,
ambivalent to wisdom.
Failing to decipher
the connection
as a teratoma grows.
A cancer of the spirit
defeating heart.
Harboring thoughts
in belief
others will hear.
Life, a cinch.
Man will build Eden.
We always fail.
A contest entry
- The Word Bank from "H" "E" Double Hockey Sticks by Abby In Chains..
15750 points, ended January 27, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Wow. I am honestly so amazed at the quality of entries in this contest- they are amazing- very thoughtful with well-writtin insights. I applaud you!
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prunes man(')s numbers in
nature(')s massacres.
Other than that, very well done! Strong sentiment and conviction. A truth we seem to falter to, yet endeavor for.
Good Luck with this poem!
~Steve -
you have covered the development of man all the information collected from the hunter and gathers days to the advancement of sending men into space.
yet we never learn how to get along live in false pride promoting greed...your ending sums it up 'We always fail'Eden that paradise where all is happy and every need is meet within reason...some deep thinking thoughts to ponder ... i do believe we can have Eden but we have a lot of connections to rebuild first. Penned with your wisdom and talented pen. Nicely crafted. Good luck in the contest.
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I love the theme and weave of words you use in this poem. I'd like to see less "he" and "his" words and a bit tightened up.
For the time that was taken, this is purely spectacular. I'd spend a bit more time eliminating unnecessary words.
Thank you for your contest entry, and good luck to you!
~Steve -
wow there you go with your deep thoughts and wonderful images you rocked this poem my friend
i like it just like you wrote it wonderfuly done
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you have some great imagery here. and i really like your style, like a thought process.
i especially like the first five lines and the last line.
well done! and good look. steve should be around sometime to comment as well.
Abby
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