Menopause, Oh what trouble it brings
Causes all sorts of dreaded mood swings
Why do women have it? I`m not bloody sure
But us men know all about it, that is for sure
Not at all pleasant, those hot and cold sweats
Us blokes get to know, how terrible it gets
Can`t even open my mouth, seems anything I do say
Is always misinterperated and taken the wrong way
This menopause is like an illness, maybe an infection
Very hard to show your woman, some love and affection
Guess I`ll put up with it, just grin and bare it
Be careful what I say and do, case I fucken wear it
Some men probably do a runner, understandably of course
I can see Menopause could cause, many a divorce
But, I will stick by my beautiful and lucky girlfriend
There is light at the tunnel, one day it will end
We were in love once, at least I thought we were
Now she thinks I`m always nasty and picking on her
Why does she think this? All I can say fuck and struth
There is nothing any further from the bloody truth
Our sex life was great, so healthy and bright
Now she only feels like a root, once a fortnight
Seems she has lost the drive and also the passion
Just a fuck on the side or missionary fashion
I know I`m an arsehole, I give her the shits
Doesn`t she realise, that I love her to bits
I wish things were back to normal, that would be grand
Sometimes this fucking menopause, is about all I can stand
It is not pleasant for women, for men it is a bit rough
Seems anything I do is wrong, or not nearly good enough
Her feelings for me have dropped down one level
Steam comes out her ears, she becomes a She Devil
But I am man enough, I`m here for the long stay
I`ll just play it careful and keep out of her way
Hot tongue and cold shoulder, makes a terrible meal
Women may be down, but what about the way, the men feel?
Supposedly, religion and greed caused most of the wars
But I`d not doubt they were started, from dreaded Menopause
God and nature work in funny ways, that is for sure
But why is there menopause, what the fuck is it for
I believe it was invented to put our love to test
Once through it, our love will become stronger, I guess
Menopause is awful, but it`s not all doom and gloom
I can always hide, and write poems in my computer room
The best thing about menopase and I suppose I should be glad
No need for the tampons anymore, or the old menstrual pad
Now I`m hoping the end is just a little way down the track
Coz I`m looking forward to having my old girlfriend back
The one who was always happy, never morbid and drear
Not this one, who can blow steam out of either ear
I know I still love her and I guess I always will
Even many years from now, when we I`m over the hill
Menopause makes it hard I guess, but sweetheart you will find
I am not being nasty to you, it is all in your bloody mind
I want you and I love you, don`t push me away
Not like FUCKING MENOPAUSE, I am here to stay
Author notes
Dreaded Menopause
A contest entry
- GET NOTICED!!!! by Nighttime angel.
625 points, ended January 13, 2008, 88 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - TEN THOUSAND POINTS OF RHYME (Now 20,000+) Part 8 Sad/Nostalgia by cricketjeff.
1500 points, ended January 24, 2008, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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lol, havent reached it yet and god help anyone when i do cos my moods are unpredictable now!
love the humor in this too, your a cheeky chappy and thats what i like when i read your stuff x -
Thank you for your entry in our contest, but we are not quite sure if this really fits in Sad/Nostalgia.
It's a very good poem and most people of a certain age will relate to this, no matter what their gender!
Please join us in our future contests, we look forward to your entries...
Sue and Jeff
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Try reading a biology book and you might learn a few things about what menopause is about. You are hanging in there, that's one thing. Maybe try talking to your "woman" as you call her. And let me tell you one thing, those hot flashes might last longer than you think. I'm 56 and still getting them.
Well good luck with it (contest and g.f.s Change).
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this made me giggle
What an enjoyable read
Good luck in the contest!
~Pastel
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This so funny yet each word is very true. I can promise you it won't last forever and all will be right in your world again one day. You are a sweet person to hang in there.
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OMG ROFL. I absolutely love this poem. Makes me a little leary about the "change" of life. thank god I ain't there yet. boy do I feel bad for you. I have always wondered how men feel about this particular subject. great job on this poem.
good luck in the contest
kat
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;ASKLDFHA;
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Hahahahaha. Oh my god. As a girl, I find this to be one of the most hilarious bits of writing I have ever read. Wow. I don't even know what to say to this except - great job! It's freaking funny and I absolutely loved it!
Never stop writing because it would be a shame if you did. Lol.
: )
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I love this!! You really put it through a mans eyes which being a lady I'll admit we forget about how things make yall feel! Great write!!
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