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Lull me to sleep

O' such beauty that gleams, how abundantly sweet!
Marvelling at the sweetness of sublimity; purity fills up my spirit.
From the spring of your heart; light dispels my darkness.
Like the dew ascending to reach the sun- my soul takes flight.
You're framed in virtue and my heart all abloom.

With equanimity and ease, the stream of life runs deep.
The ocean of compassion's ever so calm and tranquil;
wide open are the secret windows of the mystic mist.
Lure by the ethereal moonlight, love flutters within;
I yield the seed of affection and reap the harvest of bliss.

Do not waylay me in my sleep and end up this dream;
for love may bear both destiny and serendipity.
Whispering breeze wafts abroad as I pine for you!
O' quintessence of purity, delight me with passion
so my heart may aglow with love of rapture serene.

As I close my eyes and muse, you touch me...
A sharing - of sorts, a sharing - of thoughts.
Like a lid to the eye, breeze to the clouds,
petals to the dew, a wisp of hair to the cheeks;
a part of me you will always remain attach to you.

Author notes

quintessence:

noun 1. the pure and concentrated essence of a substance.

equanimity:

noun mental or emotional stability or composure, esp. under tension or strain; calmness; equilibrium.

Waylay:

verb (used with object), -laid, -lay·ing. 1. to intercept or attack from ambush, as in order to rob, seize, or slay.
2. to await and accost unexpectedly: The actor was waylaid by a swarm of admirers.

Duality:

noun 1. a dual state or quality.

Aglow:
adv. & adj.
In a glow; glowing.

aglow with happiness


Serendipity:

an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident.
2. good fortune; luck




1. Feelings developing for somebody. How it makes you feel.




Mr. Mack

voting for gold

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 87 of 87

  • EbonyKeys
    September 20
    Edit | Reply
    lovely write
    thanks for entering
    good luck

  • SincerelyMegan
    August 31
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful poem.
    I wish you luck in the many contests you've entered it in!

  • MelodiousDreaming
    August 31
    Edit | Reply
    You have such a way with words, I'm positively green with envy ^_^


  • xCandieKissesx
    August 28
    Edit | Reply
    Wow; beautiful.. just beautiful
    left me pretty breathless

    thanks for entering

  • Nothing But No
    August 14

    Edit | Reply
    I truly enjoyed this piece. It's completely out of my style and it's a lot less dark than my own work but I appreciate the emotional value of the write. Thank you for sharing.


  • Fulabeans
    July 4

    Edit | Reply

    nice

    I like this piece you have put so much emotion into it and I also like the extended vocabulary lol. also I was captivated by the poem right up to the last few lines...I dunno something wasn;t right...

    good luck
    -Dustin-

  • iiwuvyouxoxo
    June 26

    Edit | Reply
    great poem has a great amount of emotion and talks about love yet doesnt have to be completly about love great job and good luck


  • sheltered
    June 6
    Edit | Reply
    On re-read I actually like this a lot right up to the last line which threw me. Just doesn't seem to jive grammatically. Maybe i'm wrong but that's how It read to me.


  • sheltered
    June 6

    Edit | Reply
    This just sreems too soppy to read tonight but fear not because I always read and judge my contests fairly... I must sleep. Tomorrow I will rip you apart... Count on it... or the next day

  • Cupcrazy gold member
    May 7

    Edit | Reply
    A wonderful piece, great flow and form and excellent verbiage. Thanks for the great entry. Hugs, Bunny


  • Cat10
    May 5
    Edit | Reply
    thanks for entering! this is such a pretty piece! you did a wonderful job! I like the last stanaza the best, especially "Like a lid to the eye, breeze to the clouds,
    petals to the dew, a wisp of hair to the cheeks;
    a part of me you will always remain attach to you" SO PRETTY good job! and good luck!

  • angela.di.carta
    April 30

    Edit | Reply
    i absolutely love your incorporation of more advanced words within your poetry. the language and words you used certainly created a beautiful picture
    -thank you for entering

  • Glass Heart
    April 1

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful. A beautiful peice, with great wording and fluidity. Thank you and good luck. Congratulations, yo are on the finalists list.

  • danceswsquirrels
    March 31

    Edit | Reply
    please put your name in the authors notes by tomorrow. And make sure to vote for your choices for gold silver bronze and 3 hms

  • jamiedoring gold member
    March 29

    Edit | Reply
    Wow...after reading this you better step back and stop reading me because now I am just embarrassed, lol.

    What talent. I had to read a few times....digest it all...what a fantastic consumption. Abundant with beautiful imagery and language.
    "wide open are the secret windows of the mystic mist..." is just ONE of the many lines that would qualify as my favorite. Absolute excellence.


  • la dolce vita silver member
    March 27

    Edit | Reply
    A wonderful written uplifting piece. I particularly liked the last stanza of this magnificent write. Good luck!

  • Poetic-Theorem silver member
    March 26

    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    A lovely piece that flowis beautifully and is rich with emotions. The final stanza is my favourite...really packs a punch

    Thank you for your entry and I wish you the best in the contest!

    Take care
    PEACE
    David


  • Nasci Draco Sanguis silver member
    March 26

    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautifully done piece. I loved the rich imagery here and it is well written. It is nice you included the defintions,but I didn't need them Good luck to you in the contest.

  • XxContinualSlinkyxX
    March 24
    Edit | Reply
    this is nice...


  • Auburn Sunrise gold member
    March 21

    Edit | Reply

    Interesting write

    with rich vocabulary and images. I am impressed by your diction.
    Last line: I think you wanted "attached" instead of "attach".
    I like the lull and soft flow of the words, very eloquent and calming at the same time.
    Great entry!
    Thank you.

  • Wingsy silver member
    March 19

    Edit | Reply
    This is another great write by you! I love the imaginary you put into this one the best! I would see what you were describing to almost ever detail! This was well thought out and vary moving I must say. Though there were a few spots at the end that could have flowed a little better in my opinion it was still a great piece!

    Good luck with the contest and future ones as well!


  • HalfXPastXNakiexX
    March 17

    Edit | Reply
    this is beautiful!! it caught my attention and really moved me! Great write and good luck in the contest
  • celadia
    March 10
    Edit | Reply
    I found this to be an intellectual piece, very nice, good use of language.


  • Little Blue Bird
    March 7

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    That is about all I can say. Except for thank you so much for entering the contest and good luck.
    P.S. I think you went a little bit too far with the explaining in your author notes.


  • bananasfoster42
    March 6
    Edit | Reply
    aww this is really nice. awesome use of vocabulary! thanks for the entry

  • xDamagedx
    February 27

    Edit | Reply
    Aww, this is very good :-)

    I enjoyed it all

    Thanks for entering, and good luck!

    xxx
  • sweetnsassy
    February 22

    Edit | Reply
    Of all the fancy wording in this poem

    "a part of me you will always remain attach to you"

    was the most powerful line to me. I don't know what dreams do or mean... but that line simply amazed me!

    The other line I really liked was
    I yield the seed of affection and reap the harvest of bliss

    cause this is how I currently feel so this stuck out in my mind

    The other part of the poem I absolutely loved was

    As I close my eyes and muse, you touch me...
    A sharing - of sorts, a sharing - of thoughts

    This has happened to me I have a friend that has invoked my muse like you wouldn't imagine and I still write on and on... I wish they knew... take care


  • leander gold member
    February 22

    Edit | Reply
    Ooh, thank you for those difficult words I had to grab my dictionary to know their meaning - only to see you've put it in your author's notes

    anyway, I don't mind expanding my English vocabulary since it isn't my maternal language.

    This is a beautiful poem that you have written, full of great imagery

    thank you for entering, I wish you the very best!
    Leander
  • nightlover
    February 19
    Edit | Reply
    what a pleasant dream. you rolled this into a tale of love never to end.


  • K1r5ty
    February 12

    Edit | Reply
    Beauiful work and imagery! Interesting pic too
    Some great well hought out lines bravo!!!
    Thanlk you for entering and good luck
  • OurxBeginning
    February 11

    Edit | Reply
    This is a really romantic piece. Interesting photo, you really brought it to life. I liked the words you used, adds a lot more meaning.

    Thanks for entering and good luck.

  • poetryality silver member
    February 10
    Edit | Reply
    You are such the romantic. Your words sway and lure the reader. Beauteous work my dear. Good luck in all the contests you've entered.


    Much Love Always ♥

    Mom

  • blueyez
    February 8
    Edit | Reply
    This is full of emotion, beauty and love! Very well penned
    Peace and Love always


  • Metaphorist
    February 7
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful. Thanks for entering.

  • Nyabbi
    February 6

    Edit | Reply
    wonderful imagery
    And you have a great vocabulary =D
    I, too, feel like part of me is left with the one I love
    I feel like i shall never get that part back

  • Ephiphany gold member
    February 6
    Edit | Reply

    Lovely job on this...

    I really enjoyed reading this, good luck in the contest sure you will do very well. Thanks for sharing this wonderful piece.

    Ephiphany♥

  • grannyeri gold member
    February 6
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting background for this write. Fits well with the theme of the poem. Sure have entered this in a lot of contests.
  • mmook
    February 6
    Edit | Reply
    excellence ...the imagery and rhythm is awesomesome well done thanks for sharing


  • SilverButterfly gold member
    February 6

    Edit | Reply
    Very entertaining read! I love the vocabulary you used, as it complimented the whole piece. This is so elegant and the focus on purity made it and enticing story all around!!

    SilverButterFly
    (Mary)

    . Rewarded 4


  • TheElf gold member
    February 6
    Edit | Reply
    Some very nice imagery in this - e.g. petals to th dew. The rhythm is pretty good and the choice of words is excellent. Nothing in the way of rhyme but then poetry doesn't have to rhyme.

    The choice of colour, purplish, over the background made it very difficult for me to read. I had to copy it into notepad in order to read it.

    . Rewarded 6


  • Valkyrie of Mercy
    February 6
    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful! Using the vocabulary you did without making it seem forced is truly a feat you acheived marvelously. It flows so well, almost like a stream rippling sofly in the night. Every image you paint it clear as if I were watching them fresh with my own eyes. Amazing work! Good luck in your contests!

    ~ Kit

    . Rewarded 6


  • Condemd RyeZing
    February 6
    Edit | Reply
    Good. A little drawn out and the background-text combination made it hard to read, but good.
  • hilly
    February 2
    Edit | Reply
    Oh, this piece was exhausting.

  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    January 29

    Edit | Reply
    This is really beautifully done. I've not done this style myself, but it seems you've mastered it well.

  • poetryality silver member
    January 26
    Edit | Reply

    So good...

    I had to comment thrice.

  • poetryality silver member
    January 26
    Edit | Reply
    "Do not waylay me in my sleep and end up this dream;
    for love may bear both destiny and serendipity."

    For some reason those two lines leaped from the poem into my mind. There is elegance here. A skill of pen spills all over this page. Your words are suggestive and alluring. A very endearing work of word-art. I wish you well in all the contests you have entered with this poem.


    Always Loving You ♥

    Mom

  • Brianswench
    January 26

    Edit | Reply
    This is an amazing write goes well with the beautiful picture. My favorite part was " Do not waylay me in my sleep; for love may bear both destiny and serendipity.
    Keep up the great writing. Good luck in the contest and in life.


  • PonyPride
    January 21
    Edit | Reply

    Beautiufl peice

    I loved the flow and the beauty of words in it. But why the difficult words?

  • xHannahrexiax
    January 20
    Edit | Reply
    This poem is beautiful. Thank you for entering my contest, and I wish you the best of luck.

  • PrabhuDayal Khattar gold member
    January 19

    Edit | Reply
    Like a lid to the eye, breeze to the clouds,
    petals to the dew, a wisp of hair to the cheeks;
    a part of me you will always remain attach to you.


    Well I like the immagery part..really a strong piece...well done...

  • Dak
    January 16
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful flow and a beautifuly poem
    Thank you for entering :]

  • With Broken Wings
    January 16
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful poem.. Good luck and thanks for entering

  • TwilightPanther gold member
    January 16

    Edit | Reply
    OH! MY! this is just beautiful! It flows so softly across the tongue and seems to lay nicely upon the heart...sighs...thank you kindly for sharing and for entering...just beautiful


  • a dozenglassroses
    January 16
    Edit | Reply
    Like the dew ascending to reach the sun- my soul takes flight.


    Such imagination!!!! Incredible.. but being like the 29th person to tell you this what can I say!

    So where are you... are you online right now?


  • raggyann
    January 14
    Edit | Reply
    this is pur beauty
    i love it
    great luck in the contest


  • Lonewolf2008 gold member
    January 14
    Edit | Reply
    thank you so much for your entry. i loved the flow. success in this contest

  • Elenaliz
    January 14

    Edit | Reply
    wow this poem is amazing such a beautiful way of describing the feeling of the purest kind of love.great write!soooooo much deep emotion.this sounds like a winner.well done!

  • ktothecarro
    January 13
    Edit | Reply
    oh perfection.


  • grannyeri gold member
    January 13

    Edit | Reply
    Nice to supply the meaning of the words used in the poem. Liked the thoughts expressed in these lines, the flow and the interpretation of the picture prompt you have chosen to use for this contest.

    . Rewarded 4


  • aj.vamp
    January 13
    Edit | Reply
    extremly well wriiten, i really love it. one of my favorites.
  • Still Gonna Shine
    January 13
    Edit | Reply
    very well written, good description.


  • georgie
    January 13

    Edit | Reply
    good luck in the contest... a beautiful piece. dreams are meant to be... if it wasnt for dreams i would be six foot under. im still struggling under the quicksand that put my husband in jail.
    hugs,
    georgie,
    xxx

  • next monday
    January 13

    Edit | Reply
    really lovely poem here Dawn, if i can call you dawn that is, you suspend reality like its a shower curtain waiting to be loved... bravo.

    well i think this was a good attempt, but i thought the vocabulary was a little stunted in its range...

  • ears2hearyou gold member
    January 12

    Edit | Reply

    Many rich stanza's to enjoy!

    woven very carefully and warm to the heart...why did you
    put "infidelity" in there? When the purity was the beauty focus of the poem..just curious..waas she a dream?
    that would make sense...were you trying to question us?
    The beauty in this poem is overwhelming..I just stumbled
    on why you added that word...the infidelity of loving
    so deeply? hmmmm..
    ears2hearyou
    Kathleen : )) excellent imagery..just stumbled on that
    darn word. infidelity?

    . Rewarded 8


  • sweetgurl
    January 12
    Edit | Reply
    Very calming...I love this. Great write~


  • RoseShadowedLove
    January 12

    Edit | Reply
    "The ocean of compassion's ever so calm and tranquil"
    My favorite line, I've always been a fan of the word 'tranquil' you've used it well in this poem. And reaping the harvest..very descriptive write. Good luck in the contest.

  • Soulful Woman silver member
    January 12

    Edit | Reply
    I love where you took the reader with this poem. Beautifully written with superb wording. Great job.
    Good luck in the contests.
    Soulful Woman

  • Poetic Tasha Moderators member
    January 12

    Edit | Reply
    this is a beautifully pure write hun.
    soft and romantic...quite lovely indeed
    and the vocab give it that extra feeling....

    thanks for sharing this with me
    best of luck in the contest

    Tasha


  • poetryality silver member
    January 12

    Edit | Reply
    "Do not waylay me in my sleep and end up this dream;
    love may bear both faithfulness and infidelity."

    There is much acceptance, wisdom, and truth in these lines. The poem in its entirety is elegant. These words should woo anyone one you plan to court dear heart. A beautiful entry with the given prompt. I wish you the best in the contest.



    Love YOU always ♥

    Mom


  • neoladyem
    January 12

    Edit | Reply
    This is so sweet and romatic to read. It reminds me of those romatic poems they did back in the medievel times, which really fits since the picture you used is of that.

  • Ephiphany gold member
    January 12

    Edit | Reply
    Very lovely imagery protrayed in this entry my friend.
    Great choice with the vocab words here.
    Good luck, sure all is well.

    e♥


  • Karen Layne
    January 11

    Edit | Reply
    sweet...I like the classic nature of the language you chose to use...it adds a timelessness to a beautiful write

  • Anne Marie
    January 11

    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautiful poem

    "With equanimity and ease, the stream of life runs deep.
    The ocean of compassion's ever so calm and tranquil;
    wide open are the secret windows of the mystic mist.
    Lure by the ethereal moonlight, love flutters within;
    yield the seed of affection and reap the harvest of bliss."

    These were my favourite lines of the poem.

    could you put the option you chose though please

    A wonderful piece of poetry, good luck in the contest


  • Fromdeepwithin gold member
    January 11

    Edit | Reply

    This is beautiful

    I felt myself slipping into the magic of this poem. Your imagery was fantastic and I felt every beat of the words go straight to my brain. It sunk in quite nicely. I felt like I was 10 feet tall reading this. You really took the time to write this and it shows how very well done it was. I see how this poem is in a couple of contests..i want to say, good luck and you've been added as a favorite. Take care. Nick.

    . Rewarded 8


  • scars-of-yesterday
    January 11

    Edit | Reply
    Good write. This piece is truly good. Its also creative. I know I already said I liked it but I really do. In this poem my fav part was the third stanza

  • Devils Reject
    January 11

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! I really like this piece a lot. My favorite stanza is the third one.
    "Do not waylay me in my sleep and end up this dream;
    flowers take color and bloom at the eyes that see.
    Don't let my chalice over-brim with milk and sweet honey
    so I may be too intoxicated to remember this moment of peace.
    Let my heart bubble and magnify within the presence of duality."

    Simply beautiful.

    . Rewarded 8


  • JinSays gold member
    January 11

    Edit | Reply
    Just lovely. The second stanza is my favorite. I like the choice of words, though the rhythm is a little off, or it's just me today. Best of luck in your contest,
    Jin

    . Rewarded 4


  • A u r i e l l e
    January 11