When I gaze up at you,
Your grace engulfs me,
And your majestic puffs
Of wondrous fluff
Let me really see
You are lovely and true.
You dress up the sky
Like a tailor to a king,
And ease the sun’s rays
On these warm lazy days
'Cause you've got the power
to please my wandering eyes.
Author notes
Just a something 'bout watching the clouds float by.
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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a sensitive and lovely poem enriched with good rhyme scheme. my first review, me thinks me needs more practice. thank you for your comments.
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Interesting poem
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Fave Line
'Cause you've got the power
to please my wandering eyes. -
Love it.
reminds me of warm windy days watching the sky roll by... -
Wow that was really good. It made perfect since. I loved it soo much.
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ah to watch the sky and let time drift away, i have done it many times and will do it many more - a good poem
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nice
nice write on lovliness in nature . . liked "You are lovely and true" and "You dress up the sky" . . oh to be a cloud . .
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My favorite lines are, "You dress up the sky like a tailor to a king" That is so perfectly worded and you can almost picture it in your head. For 14, you truly are a very talented poet.
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"When I gaze up at you,
Your grace engulfs me..." This is also true to me when I do cloud grazing...clouds really help me a lot in imagining and making things for my writing...keep up the good work!
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Good
First, I noticed that you are fairly new to this site, so I'd like to say welcome to AP and thanks for your comment on my love letter.
I like this. It's short, sweet, to the point, and it's something i can relate to because i love to just stare at the sky... it makes me feel very small and seems to bring me back to myself whenever i start to drift away and start to feel like i am all high and mighty. But anyway, my favorite lines were:
You dress up the sky
Like a tailor to a king
Those are very well written and stand well on their own. My only suggestion is that you could maybe find another way to say what you want to say in the last two lines... I hate when people edit my work for me so i won't tell you how i fix it, but it just doesn't seem to sit right with the rest of the poem, like maybe you just shoved them in there because you needed two more lines to even it out, but they don't feel like they belong. Other than that, great job, and i hope to read more from you. Thanks again for your comment.
~Miranda
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Excellent
Very creative with wonderful images.
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I love clouds!!
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