The water slowly enters her lungs
Her mind is shutting down
The deep cuts spill out pure red blood
And the water seems to turn the color
As she sinks deeper the water begins to pound her
The last breath is let out
Along with the tears
The tears that hold the past
The past of hate
The past of love
She is alone in the water
Her thoughts are let go
The thoughts of boys once loved
Of pain that is now gone
The body washes up on shore
And leaves all of that behind
It washes away in the waves
She is finaly at peace
And everything is silent
Author notes
Is this OK for the contest?? Um yea what did you want in the notes?? I didn't get it did you want me to say adult or what. Oh and your poems rule!!!
A contest entry
- Silence by insearchofsweetness.
875 points, ended January 7, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CONTEST: Pre-writes I Have Missed by Edna Sweetlove.
360 points, ended January 11, 2008, 59 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Why Not Be Different by wingsofgold25.
900 points, ended January 30, 2008, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - so she drowns. by layla..
1450 points, ended May 11, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
like it?
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Hmmm.... I'm going to have to DQ you, because I felt that this was a little too emo for my personal taste. My apologies, and better luck next time.
Laura -
i like this poem a lot, although is the title supposed to be drowning, without the extra d?
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Nice write. Rather depressing, but the description was good.
-Dlvvanzor
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this one is very sad ru... but I kind of know how this feels (not the literal sensation of sinking, but that of feeling it you know mentally). Just to let you know the title is spelt 'drowning'. Just to let you know. Nicely written. Good luck in the contests
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opps!
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Very well written very deep and very dark.
Thanks for your entry.
Good Luck in the contest. -
i really like it ruth its really really good!
C!ARA -
im pretty sure Ru was refering to the "so she drowns" contest. I like this poem, it has good flow. The only thing i see wrong is slight spelling errors I'm sure you'll catch when you read through it again.
Keep up the good writing -
I don't get it: a contest for amusing and funny poems inspired you to write a poem about suicide? Well, how odd is that?
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suck
wow that must suck.... sad sad sad.. life sucks dosen't it? thats why we should all get a pug! -
Thank you for entering my contest. I recieved so many entries so quickly and I didn't expect that. Keep on writing!
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yes i do really like it my favorite
parts are the end line there are no
awkward points and i think you did
an amazing job i can reallt relate
to why you wrote this and the emotional
points are very amazing the title is
perfectly matched to the content
of the poem and the first line is
beautiful xxx hunnie never stop
writng and check mine out and maybe
if ur happy with them leave a commment
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