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Treelines Fade Away

Nature's resplendent spiritual epiphany
awakens man's environmental eye,

preponderance
descending secular neglect
mystic glass mirrored waters trance
ascending retrospect.

Oh, great, aphonic spirit of song
civilizations gone awry,
silent still waters are weeping
this place cries your empty tears
your desperations plea's.

Within these solemn waters edge
lie serenities painted canvas
reflections scenic magic.

Tree lines fade
along distant shores
reaching pillowed clouds
sunlight mountain peaks,

while over skyline horizons
teardrops roll from nature's cheek.

 

 



 

Author notes

Nature Photo picture prompt: http://allpoetry.com/contest/2384544

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 24 of 24

  • Tangled Angle
    February 28, 2008
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    Beautiful imagery. Thanks for entering and good luck.


  • amaranthine lover gold member
    February 22, 2008
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    I still like this piece

  • amaranthine lover gold member
    January 10, 2008

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    ***

    I like the description and rhythm of this piece quite a lot, you amazed me, I really didn't know what I was expecting with almost 70 entries in this contest, but I really have come across a few jewels and this is one of them, keep writing and good luck


  • RedwingSpirit silver member
    January 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on the gold trophy, Thank you for entering my contest, I wish you the best of luck. Great Poem.

    RedwingSpirit


  • dustookie2
    January 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Congratulations

    HH you adding more bling to that homepage...Congratulations way to go...

  • dustookie2
    January 6, 2008
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    Nice take on the picture Looks like it has all been said before tranquil thoughts still the mindGood luck in the contest.


  • stavykm gold member
    January 6, 2008

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    Wow

    What a beautiful pic. LOL This is a beautiful write. I love the depth in which you wrote this poem. It has so much to it that it is very thought provoking. The title
    Treelines Fade Away is a great title. Then the first line Nature's resplendent spiritual epiphany is a fabulous beginning to this poem it just draws you in, then the last line while over skyline horizons teardrops roll from nature's cheek. Excellent write the title then the first and last lines embrace the poem to completion!! I felt many different emotions as I read this poem. Fabulous write, best of luck in the contest.
    Blessings
    Your sis
    Kelle


  • UnchartedPoet
    January 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Brilliant, how we take for granted our Mother Nature and her beauty for the ease in life. Nature is so peaceful and refreshing, we have to save our natural resources, cause one day we will have used them all up. Good write and good luck in the contest, thanks for sharing your work.

    Jen


  • grannyeri gold member
    January 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Isn't this a gorgeous picture to write a poem for? So vibrant and clear, so filled with nature? One wonders how much longer some of these places will survive. Liked the message you share in these lines, and the alliteration used. Man's (environmental eye)? DOes it need an apostrophe here?


    • Roaddog Wolf
      January 6, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      yes it is , thank you for your kind words

      almost looks like a painting. These places are fading away faster than people realize, much faster.

      Probably out of all the things I have most trouble with are my apostrophe's, I think I have a mental block, I have read up on them but for some reason can't seem to get the jest of them. I find myself almost guessing whether they are needed or not. Any suggestions would be much apprerciated.
      Thank You,
      David


  • Perception
    January 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What a beautiful poem, your words... they flow very nice, even over those large words you had

    You have penned great imagery here, and I can see the picture clearly in my mind. Like poetry is all about

    Great job


    • Roaddog Wolf
      January 6, 2008
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      Thanks Tears ofO

      glad you enjoyed the poem. appreciate your kind words
      thanks,
      David


  • frownsnfreckles
    January 6, 2008

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    a breathtaking view captured in words that transcend, inspire and lend thought to reflective moments. Nature finds her expression in beautiful words

    • Roaddog Wolf
      January 6, 2008
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      Thank you Frownsnfreckles

      Nature for me is one of the most inspirational themes for writing, I love the wilderness areas, thanks for your kind comment


  • Delicate Fire Water
    January 6, 2008

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    I like this, it's a beautiful piece and it's very imaginative. I see you've entered this into a contest, I wish you the very best of luck with that. One thing that could have made this poem better I feel, is if you'd have used punctuation at the end of your lines, but it's your work, you feel what's best I hope to be reading more of your work soon, and keep up the good work!

    All the best,

    ~Stephi-Dawne~

    • Roaddog Wolf
      January 6, 2008
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      thank you Delicate fire

      apostrophe's and punctuation are definitely my weakness grammatically, I wish there was one of those sayings like, " fall back, spring forward for setting our clocks an hour forward and back " for comma's and apostrophe's , LOL I certainly need to learn them.
      Thank You
      David

  • TheDreamsMalfunction
    January 6, 2008

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    Beautiful

    This poem is incredible. Really. You use beautiful language (and obviously have a great vocabulary) to describe the wonders of nature which we humans have forgotten and are destroying because we want to expand. Rather moving, actually.

    One thing I'd change is line 12. "you're desperations plea's" should be something like "your desperate pleas" because otherwise it's grammatically incorrect. You may have done that intentionally, though, but I just thought I'd mention it.

    Again, beautiful poem! I'm so glad I read it.

    • Roaddog Wolf
      January 6, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks for your wonderful comment Dreammalfunction

      Nature is a precious part of life and beauty and it is fading away really fast, faster than people realize. We just aren't paying attention to it like we should, nature's diminishing slow but sure.

      about line 12 "you're desperations plea's", I thinkafter rereading that you're should be your, desperations because they are more than one as are tears. thanks for the heads up .
      Thank you
      David

  • Bad Bill
    January 6, 2008

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    A beautifully-rendered piece of writing, my friend. You depict with a painter's eye the splendour of what we, as a species, are destroying. Very well done indeed.

    Bill


    • Roaddog Wolf
      January 6, 2008
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      Thanks Finn

      Very nice compliment
      thank you
      David


    • Roaddog Wolf
      January 6, 2008
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      Thanks Bill

      appreciate your pleasant words glad you enjoyed the read
      Thank You
      David


  • Finntheirishflea
    January 6, 2008
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    Great

    i dont need to see the picture above the poem. The poem is the picture!


  • Rose Angel gold member
    January 5, 2008

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    Glory of Scene in Words!

    O.k.dear brother, your entering this fantastic write as a painter with a brush catching every detail of beauty...in exquisite words, which I should have done...I can't help but say, you have caught perfectly the glory of the scene and its' effect on you..Long lasting in our psyche and memory are scenes like this....and you have not missed a thing with your artistic and special words! I say Bravo for the achievement of poetry! And I regretfully say, I wish I had rendered my own reflection of it rather than an analogy so lengthy....and regret I am the first to write a comment...I like to be in the shadows..Best of luck in the contest....Know you will be a winner...The gold for this one! You and nature are wonderful in poetry! Now, having shared, I can say what had to be said...though first to say it!

    • Roaddog Wolf
      January 6, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you Rose

      for your in depth critique and very kind comments, your much too kind. I appreciate your words of favor and encouragement, always have.
      Thank You,
      David

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