1
Twinkling stars danced on those waves,
Sunshine shimmered dancing away,
But with time the sun set soon,
To leave waves dark ‘gainst the moon.
And dark they crash upon the shore,
To beat the beach with a roar,
Lives are stolen on those waves,
As nights do steal out our days.
Beauteous girl lies on the sand,
That soon will sink ‘neath her hand.
Suntan glimmers ‘neath smiley teeth,
That waves will drive against the reef!
And suntan seeps upon that shore,
To ransack reefs of their allure!
2
Thus – Sun will drift behind a cloud,
Whilst boats churn up the sea,
Night-time music blares aloud,
Whilst saws upturn the trees.
And yet….
I sit and write –
As time does drift into a cloud….
And as sun sets the cloud does grow…
And still I wait….
Until the rain does fall….
….But as rain falls….Our pens have not -
The lines grow longer still –
The excuses pour and pour and pour….
…..And our world begins to rot.
3
Until….
One day - ’Neath sun the waves don’t shine,
‘Neath waves we find no reefs sublime,
From hand the sand has crept out….
And in this dark good hearts gone out.
Thus the rhythm does end…
As my pen writes off the present -
And my paper ‘cuts’ down future.
….Unless when I stare ‘neath dark’s visage…..
I don’t deny – For I’m not surprised – To see my eyes –
The face of nature’s looter.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
This is absolutely great. I enjoyed the structure of this write, it worked perfectly for this poem. I loved the lines " the lines grow longer still - The excuses pour and pour and pour".
Again you use such wonderful imagery. But I dont understand this fully. What was going on in your mind when you wrote this, if you dont mind me asking.
-
-
Thanks, it's weird because the structure wasn't at all planned, it just came out in that way, and I agree for once I seem to have actually got a structure I am happy with!
Okay, i wrote this over the christmas holiday, when I was in thailand. I was struct by the contrast between the beauty of the natural landscapes, the friendliness of the people, and the harmonious nature of much of their rural lives, and the desctructive nature of tourism; behind beaches were pits of rubbish (even on marine parks), tourist resorts had imposed themselves upon isolated islands transforming an idylic bay into a commercial development, coral reefs were being churned up by boats, destroyed by sun-tan caked tourists...and in some ways I was just another part of the descruction.
There are a few specific references in the poem;
"Lives are stolen on those waves,
As nights do steal out our days." - a reference to rising levels, and most notably the 2004 tsunami. The sense that the commercialism of western life (personified in the idea of late nights), is stealing the lives are those in developing countries, unable to protect themselves.
The rain falling - A reference to global warming. I'm not sure yet whether I belief entirely in it, but I think it's better to act now, when we're unsure, than wait until we safely say in all certainty that we have determined our fate!
Ohh and it was never supposed to be a criticism of writers, just a criticism of the western world in general, and most specifically my self!
-
-
This is really good :] I like it and its very creative.
-hk
-
This is amazing. I love it. You work magic with words. -Tearyeyed
-
-
Thankyou.
I think this is probably my favourite poem I've written - it's not perfect, but unlike with the others when I re-read I don't have the desire to rip out lines and phrases or even throw whole stanzas in the bin!
But, I'm trying to find out how good it actually is. I'm finding it quite hard to get exposure on here though.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
