In the midst of a heavy downpour
Where angelic raindrops fall
Gently touching Earth’s core
You’d find me stranded alone
I stand silently in the pouring rain
Awaiting for your grand arrival
Longing to caress you
Wipe away the water on your skin
I embrace the beauty of nature
As the sky opens up its arms freshly
Sending tears down to touch my soul
And carry me up to the heavens
I’m drenched to my feet, waiting
My skin wrinkled, clothes soaked
I’m looking for your silhouette
Far away, among the dancing droplets
But I can’t seem to find it anywhere
Youf facade's left my tears to flow
Like an endless river, with no one
To wipe them off
Author notes
Rain
Words: facade, caress
A contest entry
- options by burdenbytruth.
600 points, ended January 23, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poem Of My Life by jeii.
500 points, ended March 18, 2008, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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CONGRATS!
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Beautiful!
Thank you for editing [: You've done a wonderful job using personification and metephors. The image set by your words are astonishing. Keep up the great work. Thank you for entering my contest and goodluck! [: -
RULES
Please read over the rules. You've forgotten to use two of the words from the word bank. Please edit or add a new poem and I will return to comment. I'd really love for you to still be in the contest. [: -
Rings true.
A sincere write that feels like it is very real. I can see you standing in the rain, adding your tears to the downpour. I've never gotten wrinkled standing in the rain, but it sounds just awful! -
a great piece dear.
I wonder--- who are you waiting for in the rain 0.o love how you threaded the emotions through girl! the last stnaza was awesome, the perfect touch and I loved this piece. but hey remember, I'M here to give you a warm hug && wipe away those tears
best lucks in the contest!
lovies
char
;f
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Aww I love it, especially the first verse!!
I love the idea of the sky opening up its arms... it made me smile =]
Even though the poem is sad...
Cos I make sense!
It does feel like you're stuck in the rain when you're missing the person you want most aye...
So it works on 2 levels, SNAZZY
Yeah, good work =]
Hannu xxx
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wow
i loved this poem! i absoultly love it the emotion was very clear and the pain was evident it definetly fit the title. i love it i think this is an incredible peice of work. i think you did a beautiful job
this is my favorite stanza
"But I can’t seem to find it anywhere
You’ve left my tears to flow uncontrollably
Like an endless river, with no one
To wipe them off, after a warm hug"
i love this because i think it ties the whole thing together greatly and i think its super descriptive. great job and good luck in my contest -
i really liked this
"But I can’t seem to find it anywhere
You’ve left my tears to flow uncontrollably
Like an endless river, with no one
To wipe them off, after a warm hug "
i loved that stanza... good luck in the contest... keep up the good writin
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