The snow falls,
a silent witness.
loneliness, despair,
intoxication,
pulsing beneath my temples.
cold fingers and toes
pricking my consious
ghastly green buildings
cast dark shadows
on the trampled snow.
love is ripped away from me
blinding fear tinged with hate
burns into my eyeballs.
I fall over and over
forcing myself up
desperate to regain control.
pushed down again
and again
by a strength I can't match.
my power taken over and over.
hope crushed,
tears staining my sleeves,
fighting alone
against a demon I can not beat
in a man I swore to love
writing a story I can never tell
in a note to a world
that will never know.
Author notes
Love is full of a pain so real, you find yourself allowing it to turn into a trail of abuses.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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live to long and you will see the end of all things beautiful, the end of naivety the end of love, its over
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God, do I know this feeling all too well.
If you're anything like me - life can become excruciating because I feel too deeply and passionately. Everything I do, I put my full heart into. I give all I have until there is nothing left but embers of the fire that consumed me.
The truth is, there are few people (especially men) who can handle this kind of passion, this kind of "intensity for life" as one lover put it (in those exact words). You and I are both special - beautiful, talented, poetic, at odds with ourselves in an enchanting way to men - but we are far too fiery and passionate for them to handle... so they either crush us, give up on us, or let go of us.
Of course, I could be waaaay off base here.
I loved how you opened with an image of winter... as the stark loneliness and bone-cracking cold pose the perfect background for this sad tale.
Great write!
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Amazing as ever
Hey its been awhile my friend, and I'm glad to hear your poetry is still as strong as ever! Everything flows smoothly and its a past experience I can all too well relate to (with some of my ex-girlfriends). Don't let life get you down and keep up the great work!
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I had to comment this again
this is a powerful peace darling
i dont know what to say except that i love the poem
but the content makes me sad for you
Love Your big brother
Bryce -
awe inspireing
you have improved so much since i was last here.
this poem is powerful
yet fragile
i love it.
you have really captured a feeling here
and thats not easy
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pulsing beneath my temples.
cold fingers and toes
pricking my consious
ghastly green buildings
cast dark shadows
on the trampled snow.
(you might want to spell 'consious' as consciousness?) aside from that, these two stanzas with their off hand ryme (i can't spell that word, and I have given up trying !) and colors of melancholy things upon disrupted cold things are powerful stanzas of sorrow, and contemplation of the feelings expressed in the rest of the poem. the image of cold fingers and toes pricking into thought, weary weary thought, sleepless and bewildered, is astonishingly effective and focuses the rest of the poem ... peace to you ,,,Moqui
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Very powerful statement. I want to apologize, if even a little part of that abuse is real - and I find that I can't, simply because the words themselves won't be enough. I know.
It builds character? Endurance really is useful.
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thanks
Yes, I like to think that I can write something without any of it being part of me... but that never really happens does it... always some part of the truth is sliped into the mix. Thanks for commenting though, we all have our journeys to take, mine is just a little rocky right now.
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