Born so deep into the ground,
To catastrophe their fragile lives bound.
Unjust death lay on their birth,
As they enter our ignorant earth.
Their lives lived through darkened eyes,
Reaching out to forbidden skies.
They live without laughter, no childhood,
Never seeing what they would.
Hidden from their goals and wills,
As they breath their bound debt fills.
Living a life of eternal disease,
A blackened spot that will not seize.
Losing love to the past’s pains,
With each memory lightning rains.
Breathing air polluted with hate,
Living the life of a repeating fate.
Put into the grave so like the cradle they were born,
Still their souls ripped and torn.
Tormented to the last grain of sand,
Yet we lend but a mere hand.
Author notes
Inspire option: inspire people to lend a hand
A contest entry
- Hopeless Devotions(I need more entries) by Blooming Poet.
450 points, ended January 7, 2008, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Emotion. by Deezee.
360 points, ended January 11, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CONTEST: Pre-writes I Have Missed by Edna Sweetlove.
360 points, ended January 11, 2008, 59 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-writes & Fresh Writes Welcome Here! by LadyUnique.
300 points, ended January 17, 2008, 65 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Black History Month Contest 2008!! by WisdomWarrior.
1400 points, ended February 1, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Move me! Anything goes. by Temprance.
450 points, ended June 10, 2008, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Speak out! by Luna Argintie.
930 points, ended September 9, 2008, 205 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Any lines your hated.. maybe liked??
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
I love the background here =] Always been a fave of mine. Great message in this poem. Best of luck to you in the contest. x
-
score 3
hmm... well honestly this does nothing for me, I can appreciate the message but I cant feel it, cant taste it plus I dont see much flow either. I like the backdrop though. -
One word. Brilliant. I give it a 9!
-
That was wonderful! But Terribly Sad!
I see you won a trohpy, great job you deserved it!
I didn't hate ANY lines...I loved every bit of it!
Great Job,
Good Luck in the Contests!
Nicole


-
i liked all the lines! great write! reminds me of the 'apartheid' which the oligarchs in my country has subjected the rest of the masses to! lovely flow to this!
-
'Put into the grave so like the cradle they were born,
Still their souls ripped and torn.
Tormented to the last grain of sand,
Yet we lend but a mere hand.'
Lending a hand, although simple, can make the biggest difference in the world. I loved the message in this.
Good luck in the contest, great write. -
There was an Apartheid in American of sorts. We have this in common with the Motherland. It makes me cringe at the thought of one race pf people oppressing another race but it is real. This poem flowed exceedingly well, and the rhymes were stellar. It tells a sad story that I am grateful has come to somewhat of an end. Thank you for this entry and we wish you the best.
Much Love ♥
Renee


-
This is an excellent poem of the history of apartheid. I liked the form that was chosen. You did a very good job of holding to that form. You also did a great job of following the instructions, including adding your poem to the Black History Month list.
I wish you well in the contest.
John
-
i couldn't help but picture sick & starving children when i read this. to me the most powerful line was the last one 'yet we lend but a mere hand'. powerful slap on the wrist

thank you for your entry and best of luck
-
I think you entered this into the wrong contest as far as I am concerned. My contest specified "funny" !!!!
-
This is very powerful. I am amazed with the emotioin and passion put into this poem. thanks for followinf my rules.
1 - 11 of 11










