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The Pastor (Extreme Adult Content)



Home is indeed where the heart is
I would study her aura, her laughter and her friends

Sitting patiently I would be watching daily by the clock tower

Whilst she enjoyed the companionship of her girlfriends
I would wait patiently admiring her beauty from a distance.
Contemplating her slaying in my ever maddening mind
Killing her slowly, slicing her youthful skin from her flesh.
Engaging in the most evilest of thoughts, destruction of her soul
Desecration of my kindred spirit from the heavens above

Nightmares have now become the vision of my reality
Everything else stood still and paled in to complexion.
Evil desires entwined with hell itself showing me the doorway
Sacrifice her sweet flesh and damnation shall be all yours.  

Wondering to myself what if it is an illusion, this is an illusion

Out thinking me seldom hurt, but increased my eagerness to kill her.
Undaunted by my own doubts, my faith had long ago disappeared,
Longing for the doorway of eternal hell to beckon me again
Does the Devil know that I am coming...Ha,ha,ha


Soon he will see me but no not yet, I still have plans to finish

Corruption of the church would soon be paid back in full

Anointment of the innocence would be my final deliverance
RETRIBUTION…the messenger whispering his satanic verses

The thoughts and visions quickened with my racing heartbeat
Her body pure and innocent void of all which is unholy

Eating me away with every fresh breath she breathed into her lungs.

Hearing the sound of clock tower bell’s strike six, I new it was time
Eagerly I had been waiting for her friends to say there farewells

And I new it would be the last time they would ever see each other again
Reaching inside of my coat I take a glimpse at my sacrificial tool
Touching the shining edge, feeling the power and the presence within


Opening a slice of my own flesh and testing the blades power
Flashes of pain licked at my senses, uncontrollable urges engulfed me

The sound of her footsteps mesmerizing me with the sound of a sweet lullaby
Her innocent whistling drifting past my ears, whilst I stalked her shadow,
Every now and then I would smile as she looked back at me in the fading light


Dancing under the apple blossom trees, she carried on whistling to herself

Enticing my senses to slice the shadows that walked in front of me

Virgin flesh of sweet child who confided in me with all her known faith
Is now on the verge of destruction, my hands trembled only with willingness,
Lord of the cloth would strike a dark nail into the heart of the church


Hello Charlotte have you been practicing your singing young woman

I quickly open the doorway to the church letting her through the doors

My blade was singing its own song now and wanting her even more

Still I bid my time, for time was plentiful in the house of God

Even now she smiled, smiled like the angel that I new she was
Looking back at me with her faithful smile and unsuspecting eyes
Foolishness of the children who put there trust in the hands of another

Always I had known this, but still the children would flock to me

Never decreasing in there numbers or the faith that they held within
Demons now called for me to carry out my demonic ritual

My sweet Charlotte comes closer, making me twitch with excitement

Another step then another, then another, she stands before me

Kiss the cross child for you will be delivered on to him

Eagerly watching her as she leans forward and kisses the cross

The reflection of her face flickers back from the cross and into my eyes
Heat rushes from my feet and all the way through my entire body
Evil had finally joined me and now dances amongst my satanic veins

Holding onto her tightly I quickly smother her mouth with one hand

Easily overpowering her, dragging her to my private chamber

At last, I would fulfill the burning desires deep within my soul

Violence the underworld had shown me would now come to fulfillment

Entering my coat I pull the blade out, gently pressing the edge to her skin

Not enough to cut her sweet flesh, but to silence any screams inside

Sit down Charlotte for we have a lot of work to do.

 

We've been brought together by the powers that dwell in both of us

Each searching for its own existence amongst the chaos and confusion

Evil and good, must cross each others pathways on this journey

Prepare yourself my child for you will see the glory that awaits you

 

Tying her arms to the chair I gag her then reach for the Gas Mask

Easily fitting it over the top of her head and onto her sweet face

All the time thinking of the perfect cut the perfect slice into angels flesh

Running the blade across the mask, watching her shake with fear

Slicing her for the very first time, pushing the blade deeper into her skull 

 

Opening her up, slicing around the mask, she squirms and twitches in the chair

Fainting from the agony whilst I slowly peel her flesh back from the mask

 

Blood sprays across my face as I peel the hot skin down to her shoulders

Leaving the mask intact I cut away dangling flesh from around her neck

Opening up her chest, her heart still beating I pierce it with the holy cross

Only now do I see that hell is I, and the doorway was there all along,

Deliverance is but a dream that gives birth to the darkness within...

 

 

Author notes


Author: Timespell


Option 2:
Gore. Blood. Horrifying details. I want something so absolutely horrifying, it has me scared for my life. I want to see the blood, the bones crunching, the skin ripping appart.


SCARE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want to see the organs on the ground, blood oozing out,

**PLEASE NOTE**
**IF EASILY OFFENDED DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER**
**EXTREME ADULT CONTENT THAT WILL BE DISTURBING**
**YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED**

If you liked this then you should have a look at Part 2 of The Pastor: http://allpoetry.com/poem/4063399

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 99 of 137     1 2  next >  (show all)

  • Hikari Lady
    October 15

    Edit | Reply
    This was amazing, blood freezing and brain paralysing. The way you took it slowly at the beginning was great but you kind of went fast at the end, I really wanted to know what else he did. I enjoyed it nevertheless and it's amazingly well written. Thanks for entering and good luck.

    Love
    ~Noor

  • Spine chilling

    This could be a bestseller awesome write it has everything in it I think that you have an awesome way of thinking
    Good luck in the contest.

  • gory frightening dicustingly brilliant my pants were down at my ankles and i was to scared to even run . the whole concept was eveil to the max and a great message in that really can we trust anyone not with our children so all i will say is a very good art piece and it was incredibly scarry thanks for entering and good luck

  • okay I bit longer poem so I will break this up into 3 stanzas at a time as I read them so I can give you this best possible comment:

    Stanza 1-3:

    hmmm talk about twisted sadistic!!! I really love were this is headed. really one sick sob you are playing with here. I got really excioted when I saw the title even said extreme adult content looks like that title isn't going to be undeserved!!

    Stanzas 4-6

    So demonic postion? or just an insane pshycopath on the rampage seeking to destory himslef along with his young victim both would be cool in my opinion. Not to mention this kinda spits in the face of the church so more the better in my opinion can't wait to see how this plays out....


    Stanzas 7-9

    lord of the cloth? not sure if i had heard of that before. You mean like because he is a priest? Perhaps that is what it is... I really love this story it has an awesome flow as well so far very smooth and calculated...

    Stanzas 10-12

    So far so good I am not cathlic what so ever so I have no clue about its rituals so I am kinda guessing when I say having her kiss the cross when he has that going through his mind is very sacroligious sweet....

    Stanzas 13-15

    so far this is very sick and wrong part of me hopes nothing happens to the little girl the other half says shut up its just fiction kill her!! lol goes to read on....

    Conclusion:

    wowsers that is sick and wrong on so many many levels i am going to add it to the finalist list for just that reason I soooooooo loved this you are amazing!

  • xdontcry
    April 9

    Edit | Reply

    AMAZING

    Truly AMAZING story about the decent into madness; disturbed me to the core.
    Good job. I applaud you. Everything was so absolutely vivid, and so perfectly terrifying at the same time. You write of pleasure in committing unspeakable acts, the true spirt of insanity. I can just picture the pastor's pleasure in pealing of her sweet fleash.
    Disturbing, and wonderful.

    I also love the way it’s also an acrostic poem, adds some extra interest. Love the 'His Evilness Would Scar The Heart Of The Devil Himself'.

  • WOW. Everything was so absolutely amazing, so terrifying at the same instant. Very vivid imagery, I could see the blood as she choked for her life. I could imagine the murderers sweet lust for death, the compulsion to dig into sweet angel's flesh, believing that he is hell himself. The words you used to discribe were really amazing, as well.
    Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest!


  • snakeprincess742
    January 19

    Edit | Reply
    i liked the imagiry and the evil side of it good work , its going to be a hard choice to chose
    -hugs- keep it up


  • nichtmich silver member
    December 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Truly sick story of descent into madness, the pleasure of doing an unspeakable act and no longer having to struggle with the inner demons. Kudos!


  • Handcuffs of Love
    October 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Amazing!!This was so good!!!I loved it!!!! This was so dark!!! It was absolutely enthralling!!!! So good!!! So dark!!So vivid!!! Awesome detail!!Awesome flow!!! This was so very amzing!!! I so very enjoyed this. I think this is my winner right here. This was so good!! I swear I will have nightmares because of this poem. This was so fantastic!!!


  • echo-ink
    October 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was discusting, horrible,
    Thanks a lot, now I'm going to have nightmares all night, your sick,
    This was awesome,


  • Ktulu Blackwolfe silver member
    October 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW, this is a very grim tale...You have definately a way of telling these. I love it. Best of luck in the contest.

    **Ktulu Blackwolfe**


  • spideracer gold member
    October 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Very dark

    A long poem that never fades from view, each stanza urging me to keep reading. When I have time will have to read part 2 of this wonderfully dark poem.


  • ageofdarkpoets
    October 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Again, great work on this peace (Why else would I have given you the gold in my contest ) I definitely think that if my piece does not win in the contest "As Dark As It Gets" that yours should.

    I entered with Crimson Malice

    I also wrote a piece inspired by this write entitled Vengence is Mine.

    I do not believe it is a well written as this piece, but I hope it does it some justice at least.

    Again, Great work and good luck in the contest!


  • lowercase prelude gold member
    October 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Holy crap
    You have quite an imagination
    This is a disturbing write, but highly creative and full of vivid and stunning imagery that is not easily forgettable

    Congrats on yet another gold


  • Rakerman1
    October 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent writing
    Thanks for entering

    Raker


  • HereComesTheSun
    September 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    a evil story that yet is a great read
    fantastic job
    i love the religious points that add to it


  • Tom The Invader
    September 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    'most evilest of thoughts'? Your really don't need the 'est' on the end of evil if you have 'most' before it. I like the whole priest gone postal theme though. That would be a rather shitty end. Well done.


  • Night Terrors
    August 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like this it was just my flavor of dark it was a good story to I enjoyed it


  • peregrin
    July 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Nice and dark, I love it.
    You are very talented!
    Good luck in my contest!


  • Poetic Obscenity
    July 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    HAHA

    I've SO read this already. Though, i find it to be better the second time around. Yay.

  • Poetic Obscenity
    July 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    This was certainly worth the read. A late entry and yet by far the best i've seen. Though you have a few mispellings, i've come to really enjoy this piece. However giving you gold,silver, or bronze would be mean. Considering you already know just how amazing this piece is considering all of the trophies you've won with it.

    Wonderful read though. Very sadistic. Thank you for your entry.


  • Quill Bill
    July 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    good write but it's not poetry,


  • JustFallingApart
    July 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    holy damn! that must have been the most gruesome write i have ever read, i am honored that you have entered my contest


  • Ephiphany
    July 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very intersting indeed you've done a great job with this story. Thank you for entering, and good luck in the contest.

    -e


  • Night Terrors
    June 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow that was long but kool ty for the entry I like it a lot! Your a finalist


  • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
    June 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    FUCK

    Yeah it's cool.


  • Darkend
    June 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Horrifying

    This is a truly scary write...It sent shivers up and down my spine. This is a very twisted poem. Well done. Best of luck and thanks for entering.


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    June 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I just read this poem word for word

    to my hubbie....
    his response was quote -unquote....
    "holy shit..."several times he repeated this, i forgot
    to count how many, dang!
    WE humbly bow to your ability to fearlessly use that
    keyboard to pounce!
    ears/Seattle
    not to worry, i'll show hubbie where the icecream is!


  • Wayne Leon Learmond
    June 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    They say Satan attends church, to seek out, and overpower the flock of Christ. You, my friend, are darkness incarnate. The plot, the characterization, the sheer, overwhelming,sense of foreboding and evil about to be visited upon this poor child, was beyond anything I have read within this group so far.

    You, my friend, have stepped out of the box and FORCED US TO CONFRONT AND FACE EVIL IN ITS MOST BEAUTIFUL AND POWERFUL FORM. Aside from a few spelling errors I came across here and there, and a few grammatical errors which can be sorted out, the sheer power of the piece overcomes them. Keep writing my friend. The best I have read within this group so far. THIS IS DARKNESS WITHIN A DARK GROUP! 3 claps for you.

    With

    Dark
    Wishes
    Wayne Leon


  • SpiritDarkmaiden
    June 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WoW! Well they Satan is beautiful and great at deceiving. I'm not a very religious person but I absolutely love this piece. Thank you for taking the time to enter this, I will definitely check out Part 2.

    Bloody wishes


  • GypsyEyes
    June 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is very original and i love that you wrote about this! great work. thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! ~CarnalNineTailedFox


  • InMyFlames
    April 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "Eating me away with every fresh breath she breathed into her lungs."
    this line stood out to me the most it kinda just hit me in the face you get me i love this alot its very well written. Well done and thanks for entering


    • Timespell
      April 17, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks... Glad you liked my gruesome tale of the Pastor. I am sure you are aware that it is also an Acrostic poem/story.

      Thanks again for reading and commenting.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


      • InMyFlames
        April 17, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        no actually i didnt... im so stupid
        thats really creative i love it


  • perplexed-broken
    March 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    gold!


    • Timespell
      April 7, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks... Glad you liked my short story on a rather gruesome subject.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • A Soul Torn Asunder
    March 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ah, and your style prevails again. I must say I recognized you immediately, even before I read the author's note. Again, I commend your imagery and usage of descriptions which make the reader cringe. Your talent is obvious, and your skill is enviable. Best of luck to you

    • Timespell
      March 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks again for reading and commenting on my story, This is a rather dark tale to say the least!

      All the best,

      ~T.S~

      • A Soul Torn Asunder
        March 30, 2008
        Edit | Reply

        I feel so stupid

        I'm not sure if I was really that tired, or if I was just that slow, but until you pointed it out, I'm ashamed to say that I honestly didn't realize that this was an acrostic. Then again, that may be because poems of that fashion usually sound forced at some point, like the writer wanted to have one word, but was forced to use another. I didn't sense that at all in this piece. It was honestly commendable.

        • Timespell
          March 30, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          Thats OK... Only one person has spotted the acrostic before so you are not alone on this.

          All the best,

          ~T.S~


  • BehindTheShadow
    March 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Your effort shows in this piece.

    • Timespell
      March 27, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading and commenting on my story. I have just finished part 2 of The Pastor!

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • grannyeri gold member
    March 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Long poem - for me nearly an epic. Certain disturbing and dark, but flows well and a compelling story you tell in these lines. Congrats on the trophies already won.

    • Timespell
      March 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading and commenting on this rather gruesome tale. It's not for everyone to read to be honest.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • Disturbedmess silver member
    March 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    very disturbing and creepy, although not as bad as i was anticipating it to be. but perhaps i see the real offense in those with a faithful relgion. im not religious in anyway, so i saw nothing wrong with it, dont worry. i loved the peeling of the skin, ive seen several poems like that and i actually feel a little inspired now because of it. good luck and thanks for entering

    • Timespell
      March 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for your nice comment... I have just started on part 2, which hopefully will give even more insight into this characters mind!

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


      • Disturbedmess silver member
        March 24, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        im interested in the 2nd part when you are finished with it...i would love to know more about him....


        • Timespell
          March 24, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          Will do, But it's not the easiest to write believe me...LOL

          )


  • PastelMoons gold member
    March 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my goodness this is disturbing
    I am scared and I like it!
    Great detail! Great write!
    ~Pastel

    • Timespell
      March 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Hehehe... Oh well,
      that's the reaction I was hoping for.

      Thanks for reading and commenting

      All the best,

      ~T.S~





  • my1lovewearsdiapers
    March 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I was not expecting how graphic and disturbing. This made me slightly sick, which is saying alot because I don't get sick over just anything. But I loved it, and I don't know if it was meant that way or not but I noticed that along the side it says 'His wickedness would scar the heart of the devil himself and make the heavens cry tears of blood' using the begining letters. I though this was very creative. Thank you for the entry and best of luck. ~T~

    • Timespell
      March 21, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Well, well, well
      Thanks for reading and commenting on my rather twisted story.

      I can tell you this... You are the first person to actually see the hidden acrostic, so well done on be so observant and looking beyond the story Sorry it made you feel sick! but it was not that easy for me to write ever.lol
      But well done again, I was wondering if anyone would ever see that extra bit!!

      Thanks again for reading.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~

      3 smiles for being the first!!

      • my1lovewearsdiapers
        March 21, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Well I see things most people don't, I always have and do not fret about me feelin' slightly sick as I read this for it is a very well written if slightly disturbing piece.


  • SpiceRack
    March 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Okay I have to say HOLY SHIT! That was one of the most disturbing things I've ever read and I loved it. The imagery was fantastic, and I felt I was watching him peel the skin from her body. *shudder* It was disgusting and brilliant at the same time. Congrats on all the trophies this has won you, they were well deserved. :]

    • Timespell
      March 17, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Hehehe... Yep, It was very hard to write as well. Emotionally draining I would have to say. But then again horror must be expressed this way to give the story impact.

      I thank you for your kind words, and am glad you liked this gruesome tale.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~

  • ears2hearyou gold member
    March 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Applause-Applause-Applause!

    okay that just gave me goosebumps..wicked laughter
    in your poem woven through out...omg! opening a slice
    of my own flesh testing the blades power..wickedly
    done...her footsteps coming like a sweet lullabye..
    (brillant) big exhale......two big exhale's ....
    that was one hell of a write!
    You wrote this wonderfully! Thought I was going to
    pass out when you started peeling her skin from the
    mask! well done poet, you really captured us with
    your peeling write!
    ears2hearyou
    Kathleen : )) let's hope this poet is your next
    door neighbor or church member?

    • Timespell
      March 16, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      LOL...
      Thanks this story even scares me now, when I re-read it.
      And I was thinking of doing some more on this character...LOL
      Well I will have ago to see where it leads!

      Thanks again for reading this one, glad it gave you the shivers.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • satan-
    February 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh. My. God. This is amazing. It's so vivid, and strong, and woahh, sane is definitely not in this guy's vocab. This is quite an incredible feat, to make it so long, but that only adds to the climax at the end. Growing suspense.... Brilliance! Thanks for entering!

    • Timespell
      February 27, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading and commenting on this twisted story. Glad you liked the story line in this one, some people take it the wrong way. But unfortunately there is plenty of dark and twisted people in the world...

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • IFeedFromHisKiss
    January 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is long but its pretty good

    • Timespell
      January 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading and commenting on this one..

      This is basis for more.

      I am obviously thinking about doing more story lines on this character. So it would have to have a good start to build on, and obviously room to include more slaughtering so to speak...hehehe

      All the best

      ~T.S~


  • Ktulu Blackwolfe silver member
    January 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is seriously a disturbing write...awesome. Loved the imagery. Good luck.

    **Ktulu Blackwolfe**

    • Timespell
      January 27, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks...

      It was very hard actually writing this one, so I do appreciate you reading and commenting on it.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • Stormy Days
    January 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow dark and amazing wow

    • Timespell
      January 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks...

      It's darker than you could imagine, but thats another story...hehehe.

      Thanks for reading and commenting on this one.

      All the best,



      ~T.S~


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    January 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow did you just do that 'secret thing' or has it been there all along? That's awesome! Glad I took this for first place, that's really clever. Thumbs up to you Sealed, wont tell a soul

  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    January 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    'Gage'? Don't you mean 'gag'? Sorry, I'm terrible at picking up random things like that. Line 77 it's in.

    I loved this piece it was raw and dark and it told a story, which I often like in a dark piece. I think this was disturbing, because it's a turn around of those in the priesthood. I like the way he mocks God on several occasions.

    • Timespell
      January 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading this one.

      Well you do on the odd occasions, hear nasty story's about so called men of the cloth...
      Glad you spotted that mistake, it would of stayed in the story forever otherwise..LOL

      Thanks again,

      All the best,

      ~T.S~

      • xxRainbowDawnxx
        January 20, 2008

        Edit | Reply
        Oh you certainly do. As I say, my ex boyfriends uncle was a paedophile and he worked in the Church. A friend of mine's cousins lives in Birmingham and has a big drug/gun trade up there. I know too many people will histories.

        • Timespell
          January 20, 2008
          Edit | Reply

          Thanks

          Yes...
          I can now see why, you saw the bigger picture so to speak, regarding this story... It's not so hard to believe that it could actually happen one day!

          Thank you for awarding this story with your Gold Trophy. I really appreciated it.

          All the best,



          ~T.S~


  • Dak
    January 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hehe, your work flows as easy as a story, yet still retains the air of a poem. You take a serious plunge into the mind of a killer, and make it so realistic. I truly love your writing xD. Keep up the amazing work, and I'll keep reading it!

    <3Dak

    • Timespell
      January 18, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Hehehe...

      Not someone you want to meet at church is it. Actually come to think of it, not someone you ever want to meet...lol

      Thanks for reading and commenting.

      All the best,



      ~T.S~


  • Misery666
    January 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this really blew me away. The way it was written flowing so nicely together, and the ending my my well done dude. I can't want to read the rest of your work.

    Misery

    • Timespell
      January 16, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks... Glad you liked this!

      I hope to continue this one with a few more story's on the character.
      Thanks for reading and commenting.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~

  • mmook
    January 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i love it well written and well express slightly disturbing... thanks for sharing


    • Timespell
      January 16, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading,

      Glad you liked this story.

      All the best,

      ~t.s~


  • LaylaLace
    January 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    *shudders*

    This poem isn't as scary as it is disturbing. You did very very well in this poem. I'm so glad I had the chance to read it!

    Oh, in the eighth stanza I see the word "memorize", did you mean "mesmerize"?

    • Timespell
      January 16, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks... The disturbing factor is really what I was aiming for in this story. the character himself is a man of the cloth, so yes that's disturbing in it's self. Thanks for spotting that mistake, yes it should of been "mesmerizing"

      Thanks again for reading and commenting.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • Jonathan Wikkins silver member
    January 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    whoa!!!!
    i saw this one in the feature box and thought i'd click on it... scary write, that's for sure... i do hope it's not a "true" write! i'll have to stop in on some of your other pieces when i get the chance....
    good luck in the contest!~

    • Timespell
      January 16, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      LOL... Yes mate I hope it's not true also! But every now and again you ever read or hear about something pretty sick...involving so called 'Men of the cloth'


      Thanks again for reading and commenting on this piece.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~

  • Jonathan Wikkins silver member
    January 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    whoa!!!!
    i saw this one in the feature box and thought i'd click on it... scary write, that's for sure... i do hope it's not a "true" write! i'll have to stop in on some of your other pieces when i get the chance....
    good luck in the contest!~


  • Devils Reject
    January 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is dark and a little scary lol But ithuroughly enjoyed this piece. Very good write

    • Timespell
      January 16, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks...

      I hope to do a follow up on this write. I think there is still plenty of things this sick Pastor can do.

      Thanks for reading and commenting on this one.

      All the best

      ~T.S~

  • Labefaction
    January 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "Flashes of pain licked at my senses, uncontrollable urges engulfed me"
    I love this line...
    You express great images in this horribly beautiful poem. Though it has a few typos, this is one of the best poems I have read on this site.

    • Timespell
      January 13, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading and commenting on this one.
      I am glad you liked it, and thought it was one of the best you have read.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~

  • diseasedpoet
    January 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    damn! i hope it is only fiction very good work '


    • Timespell
      January 12, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      LOL...

      Hahaha...Yes it's only a fictional character!

      All the best,

      ~T.S~

  • Wayne Leon Learmond
    January 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Dark Grim and Brilliant

    Dark, grim, gruesome. Foreboding, threatening. The build up to the climax was stunning. The imagery was superb. You are indeed a great writer. Good luck in the contest [not that you will need it.] This was fantastic writing.

    Well done
    Wayne Leon


    • Timespell
      January 11, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      YEP...

      Thanks Wayne...

      This is one of them writes that I have to think about, and then think again... Darkness is indeed the doorway of the flickering candles, I have had a look at the second stage already... Damn thats just the way it is.
      The thing is with this write is... Nothing surprises me anymore, so to speak. I shall write what comes to mind.
      And I know you understand more than anyone else...

      Thanks for reading and commenting on this piece Wayne, This is but the beginning of a character that is. and always has been around...

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • CounterStrikeQueen
    January 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    good luck in the contests.... you write... differently than anyone else i know... but in this case i think it is good.... its really cool how you write so good job

    • Timespell
      January 11, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      HEHEHE...

      Thanks a lot... Glad you liked this one.
      It was very very hard to actually write this one, so I appreciate your comment.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • B.D. Smith
    January 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    THAT IS WILD! I LOVED EVERY WORD OF IT. KEEP IT UP. I WILL LOOK FOR MORE FROM YOU


    • Timespell
      January 11, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading and commenting on this rather "Dark piece"...

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • georgie
    January 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    mmmm... love it... good luck with this one in the contest. i love the way you entwine madness and evil with seduction and love,
    hugs,
    georgie,
    xxx

    • Timespell
      January 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks Georgie

      Hehehe...

      This is the darkest write I have managed so far. I will be working on a follow up soon. I think this character has a lot more story's to be told... All on a Gruesome Level...Muwhahahaha

      Thanks again.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • LadyDementia gold member
    January 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is fab!! Hits the nail on the head. The suspense in the build up is superb as it the way you closed. Very well penned with awesome, vile imagery! Keep your pen handy...your gonna need it! Thank you for your wonderful entry and best of luck in my contest!


    • Timespell
      January 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Again.

      Looking forward to the challenges.

      All the best

      ~T.S~

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