You come home
take me in your arms,
worship me with your eyes
lost in your charms.
It's a world of lies.
But you used to...used to
Make love all night long.
Have eyes for only me.
Sweetly softly compose our song.
So much to my surprise
was only a world of lies.
But you used to..used to
Now my lies have turned around.
I am waiting for my death.
Unopened dreams are but bound.
Death's spectre is my guest.
My heart is crying as alone it dies
created hell from a world of lies.
But you used to love me..
you used to..you used to
Chorus:
The truth is past.
The present not
being true is so much more
than I always thought.
I'm falling away.
I'm falling away.
Author notes
although this is a song..I am choosing option 2..
thanx..hope it is adequate..
A contest entry
- Use me,Screw me,but you don't fool me by ExpectingMommy18.
600 points, ended March 1, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tryyy and fit a square into a circle :] *OPTIONS* by innocence jaded.xx.
525 points, ended May 2, 2008, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Very nice - a song?
The used to used to refrain works well - this has a haunting lost quality about it - I thought the chorus was good, but the verses excellent.
2nd verse particularly good,
James
xxx
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Thanx again James..my daughter(who is an english major said that the hook is weak)but i do not know music like she does..she also competed all through high school..although when i asked her for suggestions she didn't have any..go figure..hehe..thanx so much and if you have any suggestions..please let me know..
always,
r
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The theme of being betrayed by a love is a good choice we can relate well to the words that where wrote. I was feeling sad for the person in the poem. It describes it very well. I think you did a great job for the first one you wrote. Thanks for reading my work. Have a great day.
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thanx for the kind comment on my work..blessings, love and light..
namaste,(hindi..i bow to you)
robin
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you did a good job with this peice although it was a song which really wasn't what i was asking for. They are good though and go with the contest. I liked them.
thank you for entering and good luck in the contest. -
love this you did great for your first time
keep up the great work 
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beautiful! love it, and enjoyed the flow. For your first stab...you grabbed the whole steak! ~blessings always~ Trisha
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they are ok. Just the kind that people love to sing.
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