Upon my soul the kiss of light
Shines brightly in my heart tonight.
The Angels sing a tender dream
With my tears bursting at the seam;
Forever was born in my heart that day
As God carried my burdens away,
And all that we were became enchantment
That no power of darkness could dent.
My love.. my soul my life in your hands
As I listen to teachings and reprimands;
Death take me and make me beautiful
So that I can see my Savior in full.
A contest entry
- Write the missing lines by XxGoldenxXDawnxX.
450 points, ended January 29, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
All positive comments are appreciated, and constructive ones accepted.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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ugh spiritual poetry... No offence . its just not as real as the other stuff. It sounds far too dreamy and superficial if you know what I mean.. like its not true. I prefer the truth in poetry even if this is how you really feel. Its still _________ (we're playing mad libs now) ...............................................adjective
*sigh*
Kat ~ *♥* -
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Ah well, that's okay - a lot of people feel that way. I still liked it. Half the poem was already written, and I tried to find appropriate rhymes and such. Iz okay if you don't like it...I know how real my faith is to me, hence why I kept this work. ^.^
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Sooo... religious... lol. I was surprised to see the word "Savior" in your poem - not sure why, I guess I just didn't take you for a devout follower.
Anyway, this was an amazing write! The rhyme was flawlessly executed.
I love the line "my love... my soul my life in your hands" - something about that line beckons to me, begs me to read it again and again.
I have always found religion to be a fascinating and confusing concept... I guess I'm just lacking somehow, some vital part of whatever makes people devoted is completely missing in me.
Maybe you can be the one to show me the way?
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I don't mean to wreck my own boat here, but the line you like is actually one I didn't write; I only wrote half of this poem. Granted, I did make it a spiritual poem, but you can click on the contest link to see what I mean.
You're right, it is an interesting concept...and I'll be happy to share my experiences if you so desire.
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Ahhh.... I see.
Well, you did a great job taking the poem from that line.
I am interested in your experiences. I would love to hear anything you have to say - whether it be on this subject or any other subject.
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^___^ That's comforting to hear.
When the time comes, I'll do just that. Of course, that time being when I have the time to tell you all the other stories planted somewhere in my past that I told you I'd tell you! (lol)
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Wow, that is such a good poem. Good job! You have a gift. Do you know where Shallotte NC is? That's where I live.
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