Well, there's snow out on the sidewalks and the bums are going crazy crowded 'round the windows of the TV stores.
Elbowing and shoving, passing bottles of cheap vino, copping feels from half naked, hopped up whores.
It's elections and erections and now everyone's a hopeful and minorities are shoe ins, so they say.
And it really doesn't matter, by the time they sweep the bunting; well, they'll all be well corrupted anyway.
A contest entry
- Experiment by Dienush.
3550 points, ended January 31, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Typical Human Behavior
Cats are much more sophisticated.
Tiki Cat (billionaire cat CEO)
Buy TIKI'S GOURMET CAT FOOD
"Too Good For Humans" -
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You force me to reveal a cat story.
How Cats Came To The House
In far off ancient days the humans found
Each other to be not good company.
Indeed, they were as cranky as could be.
Their trials and tribulations did abound.
Phssspt, who was the mother of all cats
Met a poor human crying, oh so sad
Because the other humans had been bad;
Consoled her, went to lunch, and got some pats.
The headman heard of Phssspt's soothing purr
And offered up a deal then and there
That humankind would give the catkind care
In trade for purring, and for stroking fur.
They asked if cats could always keep this deal.
Phssspt said she would find out; she would go
And see the goddess of the cats below
And it would all depend on how she'd feel.
The dogs, they bared their teeth at her and growled
As to the underworld she made her way.
The monkeys not a word to her would say.
They pelted her with rotten fruit and howled.
Then finally to the goddess Phsspt said
'Dear goddess can we stay aloof, demure,
And not go playing, ruffling our fur
Enough to keep the deal?" Goddess said,
"The monkeys tried this deal, silly beasts.
They broke the humans' toys and made a mess.
They had a lot of trouble playing less.
They ruined many quite important feasts.
The humans kicked them out of town at once
And tried another beast out in the role.
They tried so hard to fill the humans' goal,
But were too big, those poor old elephants.
The dogs are trying this position now.
The smelly brutes have been at it some time.
They're ugly, and I think that it's a crime.
Every time you see one make a row."
"Yes Goddess, we will bait them when we can,
But can you help us all to keep our cool,
Give us all a helpful little tool
To help us get along full time with man?"
"I'm not sure it can be always so."
The goddess said, "It may make you insane.
I'll put a little trigger in your brain.
A moment every night then I will go
To see how you are doing and release
You from the spell and let you go all wild
And make the humans' reaction be mild
Until once more you're at your normal peace."
And that is how the cat came to the house
To rival dogs and soothe us all with purr
While we are calmed and stroke their silky fur
And give them all a pleasant place to mouse.
That too is why sometimes quite late at night
Your cat will jump and leap and run and cry.
It's when the goddess does her passing by
And puts the cats' minds for a moment right.
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Wow, this is... different. I don't know. The words and images are common, but there's a certain atmosphere to this that I like, and I also like that you haven't made this any longer or shorter than it needed to be. The title is a very good pun, clever. I'm not sure how I feel about it beginning with the word well... that's sort of too informal for me, but otherwise I like how this is written.
As for the experiment, I don't think you were on the list of invitees, were you? But I do have a feeling you're on my favorites... would be nice to see if I'm right.
Either way, thank you so much for entering my contest!
~Diana -
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Sorry;
I didn't realise I was supposed to be on a list.
The informality is a key element in this style. It is just like a street person talking to someone. I know I have another example up here somewhere called When Thor Lost Jesus. Other than that; there are maybe a half dozen others floating around somewhere.
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"copping feels" is a fine phrase. It reminds me of my youth when I often got copped up against a wall or two.
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I didn't know
that they had invented walls then.
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this is amazingly well done. the flow is beautiful.
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Thanks.
It's a style that evolved on me about 3 years ago, and unfortunately I haven't had much time to write since.
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