Upon my soul the kiss of light
Overcame the dark of night
The Angels sing a tender dream
As faded moonshine dulls the scene
Forever was born in my heart that day
When Change of Heart was lead astray
And all that we were became Enchantment
For the Heavens above rejoiced in banquet
My love .. My soul, my life in your hands
As we twirl around on velvet sands
Death take me and make me beautiful
So I can see myself being truthful.
Author notes
2008/1/4
A contest entry
- Write the missing lines by XxGoldenxXDawnxX.
450 points, ended January 29, 2008, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What Do You Think?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Enchantingly beautiful... loved it SISTA!
Hipopotomonstrosisquipedaliaphobiaaaaaaa
Ya learn something new everyday! -
Beautiful poem Jax, filled with lovely imagery and emotions pouring like tear trops. You're really starting to learn to enhance your writes with vibrance. Good job!
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Great Stuff!!
Enthralling & pretty with dark undertones...
Great rhythm, flow & narrative...
Well done!!!
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Delightful and entrilling write- Beautiful.
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I prefer to be truthful, so here goes, you have some forced rhyme here>>>>>>And all that we were became Enchantment
For the Heavens above rejoiced in banquet
Other than that it was a wonderful and delightful piece to enjoy.
Good luck. Rose -
Now this is a good write, and you have talent, congratulations, just a helpful hint to make your work so much better, use punctuation at the end of each line, it helps to break your poem up a bit, and it's easier to read then. I see you've entered this into a contest, good luck with that. I hope to read more of your work, keep up the good work!
All the best,
*Stephi*
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