Swimming in the darkened blue
are wonders new.
Or; rather old
hidden in cold.
A beast which can destroy a man
but no ill plan
is in it's eye
just swimming by.
Of this creature I'll never tell
for I know well,
they'll storm the dock
to catch the loch.
Author notes
~Whitemaiden
It's a Minute Poem.
A contest entry
- Nessie by Frodofan.
475 points, ended January 25, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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HOODWINKED!
This is a delightful and still mysterious write about the sea creature that has captured the imaginations of untold thousands of people across the ages. You have shared the story well, the legend lives on!
You have been Hoodwinked by your Poetic Bandit Family today because WE CARE!
Brother dennis
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Hmmm... not bad. Considering you wrote it in a minute. I don't think I could even figure out what words rhyme with what in that short a time! The center stanza is the most interestin' one. I like the use of wrap around lines, that's allus good, but more so the fact that it makes Nessie seem so harmless, docile even. Interesting take on the old legend. Interesting subject too, it isn't your standard seasons and sunsets thing, ya know what I mean? ~SIK
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I love writing about legends and myths. It was definitely interesting to try and write. I'm trying to expand my range as far as forms of poetry. If you have any forms that may be fun to write or is a challenge I'd be thankful to know what they are. Thanks for the comment.
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*sighs* your rhymes seem incredibly forced, because the lines are so short. Though I like what you are saying, you have some good imagery, in those lines.
Good job ~
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Yeah, My first minute poem lol. Oh well, the only way to make people not cringe is to keep practicing. Thank you for your comment it is much appreciated.
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Deep
I like the way you've used a minimal of words to get your point across. In my opinion, you've done a nice job. I, also, love the subject you chose. Shancy. -
Nice I don't generally like this style of poem, but I like this one, especially the conclusion, though it's "loch."
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