Listen, can you hear it?
The silence in the room?
So quiet you can hear a pin drop.
Take a moment and reflect on all your dreams and don't you ever stop.
Close your eyes and imagine your there.
Living your dreams without a care.
Can you see them?
They're just in your grasps.
Reach out and take hold and make them last.
The silence is your chance to make all your dreams a reality.
Listen to the pin drop and make unhappiness a fatality.
Are you there yet?
Is the silence a clue?
It's calling for your dreams.
It's up to you to make them all come true.
Author notes
option # 5
option # 33
In a list
A contest entry
- Fly Away With Me! by whispernthedark.
795 points, ended January 19, 2008, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Brilliant!
A brilliant poem!
It shows imagery, and asks a lot of pondering questions!
it was truly-brilliant!!
I loved it, loved it, loved it!
and sure Char does too!
Silence is the one thing that allows the broken to wonder, to heal, to write...
~Annie
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I love the way you wrote this, the imagery is nice and I like the way this is almost oxymoronish, considering you can't truly hear silence. It sounds very beautiful, but silence truly is golden.
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I loved the imagery that has filled this piece with so much imagination.it speaks so much.i loved this well done
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Really enjoyed the imagery in this.
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Wonderful
Silence is taken for granted these days.. you make it beautiful again...
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I like the ideas within the poem, but many of the words used are cliched and readily available in common speech (if not overused). eg: "So quiet you can hear a pin drop" and "It's up to you to make your dreams come true." I don't find these words creative or innovative. Many lines are "story like" and don't resemble prose.
I'd like to see you find original analogies to express your ideas, richer words and condense the text from storylines to prose.
I did like the idea of reaching out to the dreams you see before you.
Sorry if I appear a bit harsh in my critique, I don't mean it to be, but if all we get are pats on the back we don't grow as fast. alby -
Congrats on the bronze trophy. I think that the picture could have been chosen better, something about that just doesn't look right... but the poem while it wasn't in my ideal format... I found it to be quite well written. Thanks for entering. Good luck.
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Blissful silence is a treasure for me sometimes. I really love this piece. Thank you for sharing and entering the contest. Good luck.
♥
whisper
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Dreamy, reflective, the picture fits the poem well. Keep on writing and thank you for entering!!
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I love the last line, "It's up to you to make all your dreams come true" Well met young author((Please excuse the use of the term young for I would say it even if you were thirty thousand years old)). Well penned.
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I love the last two lines! Excellent poem. Keep up the good work. ( =
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