I lay in my bed and can see him from the corner of my eye.
My heart begins to race at a rapid pace as my eyes begin to cry.
He has red, fiery eyes and horns like a ram.
He looks and stares as though I'm a sacrificial lamb.
He has hands of a reaper with fingers of death.
I gasp and wonder if this will be my last breath.
A red cloak he wears embedded to his back.
With symbolic symbols written in black.
From his mouth squirms hundreds of maggots.
Flies begin to form as though it's some sort of magic.
Teeth like a lion ready to devour it's prey.
My flesh and bones are his meal for the day.
Hovering above his head is a black halo from hell.
I'll enter the land of the dead as far as I can tell.
This must be a dream yet it seems so real.
I hear tormented screams and it's heat that I feel.
Wake me up before the boogie man can succeed.
This is my cry that I so desperately plead.
I'm not ready to end all that life has to give.
I'm a husband and a father and I'm dying to live.
Author notes
option# 1
uncle
In a list
A contest entry
- Realistic Dreams by Jocilynn Destroyed.
475 points, ended February 2, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Blood And Guts by CherryOnTop.
1200 points, ended January 20, 2008, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - BEWARE ! YOU ARE IN FOR A SCARE ! ( EASIEST CONTEST EVER )(PREWRITES ALLOWED ) by Alex Hex.
300 points, ended May 8, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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Nicely rhymed. Great imagery though I'm not fond of maggots lol. I hate the graphic because it's what it appears to be ... a demon...goes with the poetry nicely though. thanks for the entry.
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Ech, horrible face there, made me nearly jump when I clicked on the page!
. I liked this, it's like a cross between Steven King and R.L. Stine... Sort of not quite petrifying, but above child like scary, if that makes sense.
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Creepy!
This write is thoroughly enjoyable! Nice rhyme scheme, smooth rhythm, vivid descriptions, unforeseeable twist at the end - this poem has just about everything! (and that picture is straight up creepy!) Wonderful write, thanks for entering it! -
wow really good piece - nicely done
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wow. this is nice. almost exactly what i wanted to see in this contest. => at least someone got the memo. but no this was good imagery. keep working and your rhyme scheme and keep up the good work. you will be judged fairly for sure. i promise. good luck in my contest.
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That's one freaky picture. That alone qualifies as scary. Watch repetition- "Symbolic Symbols" Gross, scary, and powerful images in here too. Giving this creature the title of "boogey man" may be a bit of an understatement, he sounds like a minion of hell! I like how you made the poem personal in the end, giving voice to the fear you feel at the horrible sight.
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Not sure what scared me more, the pic or the words! Great write.
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I LOVE IT!
so dark and horrible my hands are still shaking and i am trying to remember how to Breathe. this poem sucked me in to it made me feel the terror.
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AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love the riming! Wish I could write like that but sadly I am only 15 and cannot write like that!
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Ill be honest with you i hate the title is immature and not luring the double spacing in between each line is very annoying for me, I notice you use the word red, black they are very ordinary descriptive words i suggest crimson or charcol ect. "Hovering above his head is a black halo from hell." I love this line its very creative. Thanks for entering.
Em
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I liked this write, but not sure that the title is fitting for the images you have penned.
All the best at judging
Gaylene
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well written
i like it.. thanks for entering
Sister Grimm
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Hmmmm, nicely done! The line about the sacrificial lamb definitely stood out, and it made the whole poem for me. That, and the last line as well... It makes the reader feel for the narrator. Well done, and good luck!
Laura
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I am not interested in poems which have a grammatical error in line 1. Thank you for enetering my contest - better luck in all the others you have entered.
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I like the end "I'm dying to live" this a good write
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Brilliant
Superb. Brilliant writing this. The imagery is OUTSTANDING! This piece plays upon the natural human fear of the dark and what lurks within. Keep writing. You are good.
Wayne Leon
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Thrilling and Evil the imagery is superb.Good luck and thanks for entering my contest.
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Did you know that the Boogie Man can't get come out and get you if the closet door is closed??? It's true!! This was awesome and best of luck....
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Awesome piece...love the maggots, makes for horrific imagery. Great stuff, good luck in the contest
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HOLY CRAP!
EWWWWWW MAGGOTS! That part really grossed me out....I hate maggots with a burning raging passion! BLECH! Really well written poem...I loved it! This by far the scariest one I have read yet...I love the last one, a husbands love is the sweetest thing, not to mention a fathers love. Good job and good luck in the contest!
Much love and Respect,
Joci -
Oh my, That is simply AMAZING. I love it so much. It gives me chills, i like that. I can feel it, i can see it..and My dear this is just, YAY.I love it alot. ^^
Thank you dearly for the entry and good luck in the contest.
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