she's undressed, in full light
radiant before your eyes
as the night becomes quiet
she's undressed in full light
to wrap you in her silver-white
where your deepest desire lies
she's undressed, in full light
radiant, before your eyes
Author notes
different way to see the moon
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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i sometimes howl at the moon, mostly though i just howl, whether the moon is on display or not
a good triolet piece here
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There is a certain bareness about this...
wrapped in radiance
the moon danced, it soul now
completely unfurled
Hugs...Eddy
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I just wrote an amazing comment for this (if I do say so myself) but when I clicked on "submit" it told me I had to be logged in to comment (even though I already was.) So sadly, this is the first comment of, "The Reading Project." Not an auspicious beginning, I hope we post many more skilled comments in the future.
A member of,
The Reading Project
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Mi querida hija,
Although the naked moon at night
might make men swoon at sight of light,
the thought of YOU before my eyes,
undressed, brings radiant surprise.
A beautifully crafted triolet which captures the image
of silver-white moonlight and the full Luna to perfection.
Applause, love and hugs from panting el padre, LOL, XXX.
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Ms Mari, there is something quite haunting in your poetry. Not a bad thing at all, the result of a curious mind and a keen intellect. You undress 'things' and display raw beauty. --- Thank you.
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Utok Bulinaw's first assessment is right on, it's "elegant." But I've never been known for my brevity, so I have to bub on.
Here's the thing:
There's an innocent beauty in the image of this woman, and you know why it's beautiful (of course you do, you wrote it, lol) what is beautiful is the openness, the trust, that purity of love...it's synconicity, I mean, it takes the two, to have this feeling, this moment.
But there's something else I like here, the under layer:
She's undressed, physically, of course, but that for me isn't the poem. She's undressed emotionally, vulnerable, but safe, for she knows, this image will be understood and accepted at the level they've reached as a couple.
A few words, yet not a simple poem at all. Not when we speak of human relationships.
You are amazing, and you are that woman.
And I haven't even mentioned how well you handled the structure, flows like water down my throat.
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This is elegant Mari. Love the last line of the first stanza. I always admire those who has the courage to write structured poetry. Very well done. R
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Aww... the moon always an inspiration and your triolet is wonderfull. Expressive, well written, and yes, a different way of seeing it. I haven't seen it described quite like you've done it here and it's lovely
As for leander, well what can a sister mod say... as I used to tell my kids (especially when they got grown)... 'listen to your mother'
Great job with the poem
Dee
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Thanks Dee! And if he refuses to listen, would please ground him for me?
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ahhhhh... I wonder how many thousands of poems have been written that the moon is in??? And yet, there seems to be always room for one more; in particular, this one.
Well written friend.
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Thank you Don The moon, an infinite source of inspiration, and my favourite.
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a lovely Triolet form here, the refrain is haunting the poem moves like a song and the slight pause in the last line is perfect... beautiful poetry...PK
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Ooh, a triolet it's been quite a while I tried my hands on these, and I think I'll keep it that way
me and forms, huh
I remember you thaught me this form great one sweet mommy, and maybe a different way to see the moon, but it's a most beautiful one!
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try one again, write about Brugge.
I want to move to Brugge, would be great to be closer to annoy you send me an IM when you have it ready, not asking nicely, I'm telling you, I'm mommer I may do that 
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I'll see what the muse does
lol
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