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Song of Solitude

Missing image


The darkness is my haven, though I never fear the light.
My brother is the raven, we are children of the night.

Peace like a silken ribbon wound closely around my heart.
Solace from another world so richly it does impart.

My brother is beside me and solitude is his name.
we stand together as one 'neath the sun's eternal flame.

Infinity is a deep dream to which my thoughts have flown,
to ebon realms of other worlds and galaxies unknown.

With stillness all around me, my grief has faded away.
The cloud of crows is just a charade of the mind at play.

Solitude with sweet darkness lifts my spirit like a song,
and carries me to a peaceful place where I shall belong.

Author notes

artwork "Solitude-crow" by *Dorset

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Shya
    July 2, 2008

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    Original poem, with perfect rhyme... just the type of thing I was looking for with this contest, but then it wasn't what I expected. Thanks for entering.


  • Amazon Huntress
    April 22, 2008

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    I like the way you personify solitude, it's very comforting. A peaceful adn original poem,
    Thanks for entering!
    *~Huntress~*


  • Denierim
    January 13, 2008

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    I love the rhyme and rhythm that you brought with this piece. I adore the very first 2 lines, as well as the 2 last ones. A perfect way to start a poem, and a perfect way to end it. You did well with this picture, that is quite a tough one to write about, and I like this piece a lot. Dark and mysterious, deep and thoughtful... Plus I can't seem to get the first stanza out of my head now... Don't worry, it's a good thing because it happens to me very very rarely... lol

    Wonderful work with this one! Thanks for sharing it with all of us!


    • malmadre gold member
      January 13, 2008
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      I like it too even if I did write it myself, when I saw the picture that I was assigned and went to look at a link posted to it. It was created as a younger brother. The heroes of most young people today are those kinds of characters that are battling all kinds of evil in their playstation wars. I like them too.


  • creationsfromheart
    January 5, 2008

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    You done amazing words with this prompt, when I looked at the picture it was just a cartoon, as I read your words it became real to life, awsome write dear!


  • Wayne Leon Learmond
    January 4, 2008

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    I love this. This is suitably 'dark' for my taste. Wonderful writing here. I shall read more of your work.

    Wayne Leon


  • February Moon gold member
    January 4, 2008

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    "My brother is the raven, and he is a child of night."
    Would sound better as "My brother is the raven, child of the night." It flows better this way.

    "We stand as one beneath the suns eternal flame."
    "Suns" should be "sun's".

    "to ebon realms of other worlds and galaxies unknown."
    The word ebon is really not needed here and throws off the flow.

    "With stillness all around me my grief has gone away
    The cloud of crows is just a trick of mind at play"
    Punctuation used in other parts of the poem but not used here?
    "The cloud of crows is just a trick of THE mind at play" Makes it flow better.

    "Peace and solitude with sweet darkness like a song,"
    The flow is off in this line but I don't know how to fix it.


    These are all just suggestions to do with form. The ideas and emotions behind this poem along with the vocabulary and rhymes are stunning! Though I have made a lot of suggestions I really did enjoy this piece. Good luck.
    Chelsea

    • malmadre gold member
      January 4, 2008
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      : )

      Made a few changes, thanks for suggestions.
      When I first saw this picture I didn't know where it would take me, I hope the artist likes it.


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    January 4, 2008

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    Excellent. Simply superb rhyme and rhythm in this piece. So well done to the picture prompt. Just a pleasure to read and enjoy. Well done. Best of luck in this contest. Pamela

1 - 10 of 10