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The cold walk back home

 

January -

there are no flames left.


A blue filter screws itself in between

the space of white and spring.

I lay under a frozen everglade
to be picked by birds after the melting.

Snow dries to birches like candle wax

on silver holders,

slim branches smolder to the sky

like snuffed wicks

and dampened excitement,

 

stifled steps to an icy doorway

where the welcome mat lies.


















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Comments

1 - 48 of 48

  • Thomas Scott gold member
    October 23
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    LONG LIST


  • Arthuris
    June 15

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    Just came across this one. It's lovely, and the scene is fully illustrated in the words. I can see it all. Well done.


  • Swan song gold member
    March 1, 2008

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    Do you know what is nice about your poetry?
    You can read it over and over and still just feel Ahh!!


  • individuality gold member
    February 16, 2008

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    An enjoyable piece of poetry, at least it will be warm once past the welcome mat, perhaps a nice cup of tea laced with a touch of brandy once through the door. A good poem.


  • Mallig gold member
    February 7, 2008

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    Wonderful! Loved "a gray filter screws itself in between
    the space of cold and spring." The imagery and color in this was so strong, and I really liked the juxtaposition of the cold and the flame. The unique descriptions "slim branches smolder to the sky

    like snuffed wicks and dampened
    excitement," put me right in that winter place. Excellent!


  • Mad Moon silver member
    February 7, 2008

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    Wow! Can I EVER relate to this one, my friend. You metaphors are exceptional, as is your verbiage. The "feeling in this is powerful and overwhelming. Vivid and abundant imagery took me with you as I read, Perfectly penned, indeed. BRAVA!!


  • AJ Morelli gold member
    January 20, 2008

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    boy i like this one a lot, some really great imagery and the form works so well, i'm not sure of the tenses toward the end, the first 8 lines are present, the next 3 are past but appropriately so because it is of the metaphor you are speaking, but the question i have is the final line, lied vs. lies. Perhaps the poem should return to present tense for the final line and the line " the welcome mat lies" is such a good one... either way a great piece for the contest, thanks


    al


  • Mezclita
    January 14, 2008

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    Awesome... I love the pun in "welcome 'mat'"

    "like snuffed wicks and dampened
    excitement; stifled steps"... is also very nice!

    It's great where the imagery of it all starts & leads us to while tied under this certain mood throughout.


  • Celtic Legend
    January 12, 2008
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    i think this was set in winter. this a beautiful write

    • tara wilson gold member
      January 12, 2008
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      thank you...it's set in winter and the setting in of something, a winter feeling, I suppose..lol..thank you...


  • Naridill gold member
    January 11, 2008

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    Love the last line. Beautiful metaphor. Simple captivating. Love it.


  • poeticweaver gold member
    January 9, 2008

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    Nice,

    Love the imagery here within each poetic verse~
    Thanks for another wonderful read sweet soul!

    Much love, light, and laughter~
    -Timothy aka poeticweaver~ xo


  • Oisin silver member
    January 8, 2008

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    I am wondering if it is the Canadian influence in writing... this has an awful lot of Joni Mitchel in it, or maybe it is just me. I like the blending of want and winter..........


    very nice.

  • Virgoan
    January 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW! I am awestruck...one of your best pieces to date.

    Absolutely a wonderful poem

    Thanks Tara for sharing this piece.

    HENSLEY


  • Swan song gold member
    January 8, 2008
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    This is one good poem. Wow!
    It his me like a ton of bricks. Good poem!
    esp that last few lines.


  • michellemybelle gold member
    January 7, 2008

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    beautiful imagery and amazing metaphor makes this exeptional! The last sanza, image is so vivid, you really feel the grief.
    good luck in this contest, however you need no luck with this masterpiece.
    blessings,
    Michelle


  • EvilKate
    January 7, 2008

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    HAH! - fantastic final line! - Oh my, you have twisted language with such a graceful touch!

    Oh - and the metaphor beneath is not half-bad either!


  • Kiran silver member
    January 7, 2008

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    Wonderful poem. A breathtaking piece with such strong imagery; your use of imagery is one of the best I've seen!


  • penman gold member
    January 6, 2008
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    Excellent

    Very creative and well expressed. So skillfully done. Best of luck in the contest.


  • aliceramone
    January 6, 2008
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    an excellent piece with beautiful imagery and a soft elegant flow...an exceptional piece!

  • Mad Moon silver member
    January 6, 2008
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    Speechless, here! What an abundance of beautiful imagery in this incredible write. Absolutely exquisitely penned. Despite the doleful tone, the hope of the return of "spring" looms between the lines. Exceptional use of metaphor, as well. Brilliant!! Love it!!


  • Luna Tique Fringe
    January 6, 2008

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    Beautiful images...very rich, I like this one a lot, hon
    "Snow dries to birches like candle wax,"


  • BurmaShave
    January 6, 2008

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    Some very unique imagery here beginning with the gray filter, I especially like snuffed wicks. The end line is my favorite though, it's so final and leaves you standing there just like waiting at an unanswered door.


  • ellipsist
    January 5, 2008

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    oh, this is beautiful!



    yes, jaw dropping-ly beautiful!


  • Gregor Samsa
    January 5, 2008

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    Wonderful

    As everybody else has written, the final stanza is breathtakingly good.

    Your imagery of snow on the birches like candlewax reminded me vividly of a winter walk in a birch forest outside Moscow.


  • zochit2me gold member
    January 5, 2008

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    You know every single time I read something of yours, I think oh my goodness this is my favorite of hers and then you spring something else on me like this one...

    You are AMAZING!!!
    And versatile and that is a wonderful thing...

    I love and I mean absolutely love that ending...

    where
    the welcome mat lied.



    Becky


  • Namita
    January 4, 2008

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    i echo - this IS poetry, poetess - you are just amazing, lady; wow. tell me how you do it...
    please?

    - namita


  • Sonja
    January 4, 2008

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    To be back home...for this style, with this kind of poetical ending is only one way I can say. This is poetry, poetess.
    ~Sonja~


  • naked roots
    January 4, 2008

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    I know that frozen everglade feeling...
    I love how you ended this. Those welcome mats are such liars at times, I will have to remember to be more cautious of those in the future.
    excellent poem.


  • Blueskywonder
    January 4, 2008

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    A wonderful piece of poetry with beautiful imagery, leading us ever so elegantly, to the welcome mat


  • delightfulmess silver member
    January 4, 2008

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    Sensational!!!
    I know the feelings well you have descibed here
    with you poetic artistry.
    Well done best of luck in the contest.


    Delila

  • Nicole Hanna
    January 4, 2008

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    Oooooh, I really like this one. Those last two lines gave me a bit of an unexpected shiver. Beginning the piece with that one word is enough to instill certain images for a reader, but you carry on and manage to introduce something we wouldn't normally envision on our own. Good stuff with this one.


  • Malabu
    January 4, 2008

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    how beautiful...how delightful...how uplifting...and such be the dormant soul waiting to fly...and the mat at the door of enchantment be welcome to the light...love the write...and you... Happy New Year sweetie...

    Mal

  • Suzanne Dia
    January 4, 2008

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    Love the descriptions, the way I can almost hear the muted footsteps in the snow.. really beautiful.




  • philosphyofkate
    January 4, 2008

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    i can never decide if i love the stillness and waiting of winter or if i hate it. this didn't help. i am miserable for spring, and yet the frozen beauty... well, even i can see the value in that.

    but i long for naked revelry and hot sticky nights and even the sky reaching down to envelope me.

    of course, then i reread and can only see the beauty of those slender frozen branches reaching toward an icy sky. sigh.


  • kaibab silver member
    January 4, 2008
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    Beautiful and elegant with the sound of abandonment...lovely Ms. March


  • elemental angel
    January 4, 2008

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    This is just so beautifully written full of wonderful imagery. Winter to a tee.
    Bravo


  • Cup-a-Joe
    January 4, 2008
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    Imagery is everything in a great poem. You have produced a wonderful poem.
    Joe


  • notorious
    January 3, 2008

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    "the space of cold and spring"
    I love how you write cold and spring like they are like each other, and yet not (hence the space). It's unique.

    drys should be dries (unless you spelled it incorrectly on purpose??)

    "smolder to the sky"
    Pretty phrasing.

    "to an icy doorway
    where the welcome mat lies"
    My favorite 2 lines! Oh, they are so genius, because oh, the irony..."icy"=not welcoming, and then you mention the welcome mat. You're a freaking genius, officially. =) Awesome poem. Truly.

    • tara wilson gold member
      January 3, 2008
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      ohh..thanks for that..nope, that's a mistake...I just can't spell..lol


  • brevity
    January 3, 2008

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    i love this.
    a gray filter screws itself in between
    the space of cold and spring.

    awesome.


  • Nicolette gold member
    January 3, 2008

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    This is lovely poetry and I love the pictures of candles you've painted in my mind here...the snow and cold against the flames and warmth!

    ~ Nicolette


  • monstruo
    January 3, 2008

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    I had a house full of people, and where is my mind?

    'Hmm, wonder if Tara is online?'

    And it appears you were. This is more sorrowful than your other poems. Beautiful as always. I like the way you began this poem, perhaps you can read my thoughts March.


  • arafura gold member
    January 3, 2008

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    no flames left...

    You make me shiver! I can feel the cold nipping at me and winter's bulldog persistence. Such wonderful work my friend! Good luck in the contest!


  • Tam
    January 3, 2008

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    oh girl...

    this is very well done!
    love this write...the ending is SPECTACULAR!
    what a metaphor...and you extended this with grace and style indeed...
    your pen is so amazing to me...
    Blessings! Tammy

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    January 3, 2008

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    Oh my, the irony, yet again you write that which is within my heart, mind and soul but that which am unable to convey poetically.
    I must bookmark to read and re read for this is the winter of discontent that is unseasonal yet does not add to discontent but allows the reader to focus only, only on the calibre of the poetry.
    Beautifully written, picturesque even with the cold comfort ,love the metaphor, this is excellent!


  • PrincessOfLostHope
    January 3, 2008
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    I really like this it sounds really cool. Good job.

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