he complains about a smattering,
tut tutting about global warming;
she turns the heating up,
wonders if she will get to work
on monday despite
it only being thursday
the dog barks at three snowflakes,
and she asks him to check her
antifreeze, please?
he knows she doesn't like the cold;
he grunts,
she grunts back;
seems that
winter has finally
arrived...
A contest entry
- Winter by AJ Morelli.
1000 points, ended January 23, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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very good piece Elaine, love winter as metaphor for a relationship, the tell tale signs of beginnings and ends
i worked at a gas station while in school so this one hit a bit close to home
strong piece in the contest
al -
thank you.
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this is conveyed wonderfully... very clever and eloquent... I especially like the grunting... it brings to mind a preparation for a hibernation, at least of sorts!
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This also reminds me of how our relationships go through cycles too...the winter cycle of freezing up emotionally.
Great poem.
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Love love love this
- a frozen snapshot of winter, and the metaphor it weaves around so well.
PS: "and wonder" = "and wonders" ?? - a small issue beside the subtlety you have penned here
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thank you so much
yes it's a typo! well spotted
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- just 'proves' I read it more than once eh?
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I love this slice of life poem about mundane things, its just that this is everyone's story. a beautiful read.
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lol This had me giggling a little, only because I could SWEAR I just had this exact experience with my husband. We always joke the weather is going to end up coming upon us like in that movie Day After Tomorrow. We're in michigan, which means we are SO screwed when the end of the world hits. LOL. I love that sort of resigned acceptance at the end of the poem. I think almost anyone can relate to that view of winter.
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yes, the cold span of grunt and disavowing.. i really like the voice of this piece-
the concise language and the
way in which winter is more than a backdrop here but a state of being.. nicely written
good poetry
m
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So sad hun, so very sad, I wish you someone who cherishes you, someone who knows your needs and wants to fulfill them,someone who knows every inch of you and loves every one, someone who wants to know you inside and out, who wants to support you through the good times and the bad..damn winter xx
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yes ... that would be nice
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lol..I really like the title too, so good..
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this is awesome..
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Winter can make us bark at each other too, especially when the heart feels the cold. Great work here, Elaine.
~ Nicolette
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excellent.
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Al's got a doozy to judge, I think
I love this entry, this is what winter is to most, and yet I don't think I could have written it so well.
I love the dogs barking at the snowflakes.
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