Feelings collide and a battle ensues inside her head.
Split voices resonate and compete.
A hand extended, compassionate.
A scared voice, “it’s not real, do not proceed!”
A willing voice “reach out, take hold, trust!”
Young, yet old is the scared one,
reminiscing on past betrayals, lies.
Weak, yet strong is the willing one,
holding on to the chance, the promise.
The chance of hope, the promise of change.
A willing voice must win this war.
A scared voice leaves no room for hope, for promise.
The willingness is quietly absorbed,
and the hand draws her in, warm, serene.
A bond based on trust realized, accepted.
She has become willing.
Willing to let go.
Willing to trust.
A contest entry
- Upgrade Your Poem (Prewrite Contest) by SEA angel.
300 points, ended July 1, 2008, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tired of HM's (X) by PatheticKt.
550 points, ended August 26, 2008, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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An interesting piece here and I liked it! Thank you for giving me the pleasure reading and good luck
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Great write you got here, very interesting and love the tone here: it is hard to find someone to trust but I guess it is harder to find yourself trusting someone with your own will
Hmm, not much to say because I love this, it's that wonderful. The 'young yet old' and 'weak yet strong' got me a bit confused but hey, something to chew on, ya know?
Overall, great piece you got here
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Thanks so much! Patty
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Touche'
That's the ticket... Letting go to trust. Trust is sacred and easily bruised and scarred when betrayed. So we have to trust ourselves to to not ignore red flags and to learn to let go and trust when we know that we know the time is right. Life is a balancing act.
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Hello Pathwee.
This is a very interesting write, and to me it reads of a battle within. And not just cos of the battle inside her head remark, hahaha. For the question of trust although can obviously be based on whether or not you trust someone else, it is a secondary thing every time, for the first trust is within yourself. What part of yourself do you trust. Only once this primary is established can the secondary entities come into play. So on this premise, the battle within the writer is between, as I perceive it, between flesh/ego and soul. Soul is never wrong, but it is also never afraid.
Young yet old and the subsequent oxymoron of weak yet strong can be read in many ways, and I like this a lot. Young in age, but old due to experience is the most obvious one to me. But young in age, brings the deluded conclusion from old in experience in that a person can be stuck in their ways, the reality created and verified so many times, is self perpetuating by the belief, right or wrong, of the past coming again and again. Weak yet strong is more interesting though. Weak as in it can easily be clouded in many people, which unlike ego will not scream and shout, for it is a quiet knowing, which can of course grow if one is on the spiritual path. Strong for in this case it is the right thing to do, as the story later shows this to be the case. Further more, strong in that soul always believes in itself, but then it is above the illusions that so easily trick earthly senses.
Of course one must never lose hope, for if one concedes in mind, then concede in fact will follow. The final two lines are also very good. Willing to let go brings the subsequent willingness to trust. The person has let go of the voice that is scared, the person has let go of fear, and the trust that comes is the trust in ones self.
This is of course as I say once again is just my interpretation.A very good write, although I have to say I would have liked to have read a bit more of what the different voices were saying.
My regards.
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Thanks so much for the very insightful comment. This poem was written quite some time ago, during the earlier part of my quest for healing from a very traumatic childhood. I may at some point go back and see about adding, as you say,more to what the voices are saying. Although sometimes I think it is best to leave it the way it is,because to me it shows where I was then,and I can see how much growing I have done now. So we'll see.
This really was a great comment,and I really appreciate it. Thanks again. Blessings, Patty
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Hello Pathwee. Nothing wrong with creating a revised version, with the original still on show, for I do agree with both stances, especially after reading your reason(s) for the way it is. Words written in moments of time, carry an energy that only you will truly know, but adding more to create more of an insight is also useful. You are welcome pertaining to my comment. Whatever stage you are at in your healing or you have healed, I wish you well on. My regards.
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I like the idea of two sides battling in your poem. Not sure if I get the full meaning though, but it's not bad.
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A very smooth and thought provoking poem. Well written and very interesting. Well done
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I'm not sure if letting go and trusting are the same thing. but still i love the poem. you did a great job with this one. you should be proud
spreading love,
miley
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