A carillon told me the hour,
as we threw our breaths
through the dark.
You roared restlessness
into the room,
almost singing the story
of your dreams.
And I...
I left my voice
intentionally blank.
Author notes
A sleepless night.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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I really love the very end of this poem...it was great
Thanks and the very best of luck 
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Sleepless nights,
oh how I can relate to those.
I suffer from them more times than I can count.
Everything seems so different then.
It's like everything around speaks in what feels like echoing roars that are cryptic including your partner.
Yes I know these nights well.
Thank you for entering.
Best of luck to you!
Blessings
Bel
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Such a powerful write. I especially like the end " And I ... I left my voice intentionally blank. Bravo.
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Lovely.
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I like your style great job!
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Superb on sleepless nights.good luck in the contest.
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This is a wonderful write. I can so relate to having sleepless nights and all the thoughts that run riot. And you have used such great imagery here and the last line is excellent. well done.
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Outstanding
I liked the originality of this poem. I liked the enigmatic quality - leaving the ending open to interpretation. Interesting as I think this is a fault in a lot of modern poetry (not yours) but people often seem to not say anything - the style in some cases seems to be the art of not saying anything although the words are well chosen. This poem reminded me of this trend. A great poem, well-written and interesting to read.
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Returning The Favor
I'm a rhymer so I cannot comment on this poem - I read it twice and drew a blank - perhaps thats what it's meant to do.I don't know what a carillon is - so that may make it difficult for me to grasp - the comment I can relate to - had few this last week. Bless God - Joe
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Such a descriptive write, truly capturing the essence of suspense of a write in free verse.The wording was gr8 and it had a sweet flow to it.Best of luck
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Leaves alot to the reader's imagination.
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I like the restless tone in this one, the kind that is almost symphonic even the word blank - it gracefully resonates. This has a misty quality to it that suspends in the darkness, in that moment between sleeplessness and dream. Wonderful poetry Sweet.
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Nice write, descriptive. I can relate here as I've had many sleepless nights and it's not fun. Even in the brevity you elected, you captured the frustration as well as how the time slowly drags, unlike the years of our lives. Well done, Leander! Glad I stopped in. I think we've passed once or twice, perhaps and I saw you joined just a year after I had, so I'm pretty certain we have crossed paths. Hope to see you soon. And I hope your new year will be everything you want it to be, and then some. Be blessed!--Kel :
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So very familiar! Sleepless always I am...love the abstract feeling here.
Blessings~
Az
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Thank you as well
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and
even when talking about the most dailiest - sounds good -
ace
it actually leaves us left for no speech - left for no voicebox.. i like how you dance gently through your words - like a good ball room of speech you have.. and ball room be good.
keep it up!
muchas love
leanne
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Have you or your boyfriend ever tried anything? I'm sure there are a few things out on the market - those little nose strips, perhaps?
And I totally agree with Rose Dark Thorn, at least you use your time constructively. I just jab my boyfriend really hard in the ribs, and he stops.
But I'm cruel like that.
Amazing write, as usual
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Well...
I used to bump his on his ribs, but he only feels that the morning after... I've tried to close up his nose with my fingers as well, but that turned out in him vacuuming hisself
I once shoved him out of bed too but that got his nose bleeding
He has bought snoreeze (or something) - nosedrops and the syrup as well... didn't help a thing (it only got me retching with it because those things stink
)
Then in October last year he had surgery on his nose - because he made too much slimes and the doctor said that's the reason of his snoring... didn't help either...
So yeah... I think that's pretty much all there's was to do huh
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Haha! I have to remember that one - closing his nose with your fingers...I just may have to try that. *snickers mischieviously*
Was his nose okay after you pushed him out of bed? He didn't break it or anything, did he? I must admit, I probably would have laughed...but I'd be really concerned, deep down under all the laughter.
If I ever come up with any bright ideas, I'll drop you a line - until then, you could always try using something on yourself to stay asleep through it. -
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Nono, his nose just bled from the bump... there was nothing wrong with it, thank goodness
I had the most fun when I shoved my fingers in his nose
really, he just didn't open his mouth to grasp for breath
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This has that hollow, detached feel that reminds me of one that does not want to be hurt or to fall in love. It haunts you. Deeply beautiful
Gypsy
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This is the one you should have had in my sleepless night!
Although I know that Jovy's snoring inspired you again!!!, I could think of other kind of roars. Not one, but two people sharing a restless night, each with their own reason, unshared...
Loved this one mijn lieveling!
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I think there was only one night where my fiance's snoring was so bad I was up for hours trying to shut him up. It was a really bad night, because I'm clingy and didn't want to sleep in separate rooms. I think he ended up going and sleeping out in the living room for a few hours...then he came back or I went to get him.
Either way, it's very frustrating. but at least your time spent up is spent usefully. I'd be too pissed to write anything.
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hmmm....
i finally put hubby in his own room
i swore i'd never be like my parents, each with their own room but i couldn't take it any more!
this is something i could have written
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Wonderful
Very well done. Best of luck in the contest.
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Another snoring night... your partner's snoring seems to be the source of some great poetry from your pen, my friend!! I loved the "intentionally blank" and all that it implies - hard to think anyway. This is marvelous poetry and I so enjoyed it. So great to see you posting more regularly now... keep them coming!!
~ Nicolette
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Oh this is so familiar to me. I often have sleepless nights lately. Then I hear every hour the clock and the sounds my husband makes next to me, while I keep quiet. You have worded it beautifully. Very well done. Good to see you back with a poem. Keep them coming.
Have a happy 2008!
Anna.
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I love it daddy!
Bravo! And another exceptional piece!
*Stephi**rose
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