Rusty Wings
by Darmok
110703
....away,
Four days as the crow flys,
over the hills and valleys below...
across an open meadow of golden flow,
she lies in tall grass
where no one knows.
Tin snipped windmills
turning in the breeze,
lusty autumn winds
cast aloft burning, yearning
...yellow
leaves.
A thousand blades of soft mellowed greens,
fescues blues and rustic themes.....
and o're the soul
of her treasured dreams,
is played a tune
on time tested wings.
A calling, a whisper...
a bird's metered song.
Sunlight, moonlight...
...wings in flight,
slowly awakens the kindled light,
this lovely heart,
her wings in flight.
Author notes
One of my favorite authors is Patrice, she never fails to write something beautiful, which often inspires my comment,
my poetry. I am in debt to her for her awakening has awakened me, at least stirred my creative thinking again. This poem was a comment to Patrice's poem "Away".
ps for those not familiar with Patrice, her pseudonym is Pataliyah.
Written November 7th, 2003
A contest entry
- PREWRITE Festival: Enter As Many As You Want: Quickie by Ryno.
300 points, ended February 14, 2008, 4 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gold And Silver Trophy Poems! by MJ Forgives.
700 points, ended December 1, 229 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 39 of 39
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Very Beautiful write. I enjoyed reading this. My favorite lines would have to be:"slowly awakens the kindled light,
this lovely heart,
her wings in flight." I hope you do well in my contest and thanks for entering. Love and Peace!
-Jess
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beautiful write you have penned
excellent flow throughout
love this stanza..
A thousand blades of soft mellowed greens,
fescues blues and rustic themes.....
and o're the soul
of her treasured dreams,
is played a tune
on time tested wings.
good luck to you in the contest
thanks for the share
Darky
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Sigh. So very lovely. The feeling of this write was warm and beautiful. I felt prettier myself. It seems to show the feminine as glorious.
I certainly would love to spend time inside this poem!
This might be my favorite of yours.
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SO LOVELY!!!!
Reading just brings such relaxation to me
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This imagery is superb. I don't understand how it can be simple, abstract, soothing, descriptive & original all at once, but it is. Well done. A very nice piece... thank-you for the entry.
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LOVE this part 'lusty autumn winds cast aloft burning, yearning ...yellow. Very visual.
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Your comments are uplifting and I am always encouraged to start writing again!
-D -
thankyou all for your new reads of this poem; wonderful moments like this, when composition finds form and expresses the soul of my writing; when the words find me........ I am just as amazed as you, to see them on page and read.
....then again, my dear friend inspires many to find their fire and share its warmth. I appreciate your comments, and the connection shared.
Darmok -
I think you did a beautiful job with this poem. It has such a sweet, light air about it and I just loved how you phrased the words to achieve such a lovely poem. Seemed I could almost feel the breezes and smell the grass as I read. Lovely. childlike faith
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I really enjoyed this, the gentleness and vigor together are beautiful. It reads easily and the rhyme is free and open.
I have always wanted wings myself, I sit on the floor sometimes in the biggest space I can find and tense and reach my shoulders out and forward and feel what it might be like to carry the weight of wings and be able to force them apart to stretch the full span of them around me. Hmmm, maybe there's a poem to be written there, thanks for the thought!
LB
x -
A beatiful write,well written with lot's of imagery and a wonderful feel to it,well done indeed
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superb
a golden beautiful gossimer of wings that lift the spirit and soul in this heat of a hot summer.
thank you for the gorgeous image you paint for the imaginary eye.
Tamara
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This is a pretty good poem and I see nothing that would need editing. It's beauty is also shown as fantastic imagery. I was able to see things so, so clearly. This was definately a good piece.
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I think this is a pretty decent piece of poetry. It communicates very well. Also I think that it is very atmospheric and is well detailed example of craft. Of course, this is merely my humble opinion. Take it for what it is.
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The poem is a work of art and the picture that goes with it is the perfect compliment. You are a wordsmith my friend and this is a great piece by any measure. Congratulations on the entire work.
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Excellent
"Rusty Wings".....beautiful poem with great visual effect. I love this style of gentle poetry....it has such a soothing calming touch to it. I thought the picture serene...Excellent
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That is a really cool picture... it goes well with the title and the poem too. your poem was nice too. keep up the good work...
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very peaceful . i liked it. although its not something i would normally read. lol. its smooth. and different than alot of the poetry you read here now. good job! !
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Oh my Darmok. You have started the new year with a beautiful awakening to that muse of yours. This is stunning sweety. I love it. What an absolute beautiful image you have painted in my mind.
~Lyrical
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True enough, that is a lovely picture, however more lovely is the woman this was inspired by........see author's comment.
D
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reminds me of a faerie with golden wings touching in the meadows!
This does have spectacular imagery within this write!
And yes...
this is beautiful writing!
I did enjoy this very much my friend!
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill -
Dreamy and yummy
A lovely poem for a lovely picture... yummy indeed, Darmy!
Cheers to you, old friend!
Heinz -
Hmmm.. it didn't post my comment for some reason.. so here goes again....
This poem is just too beautiful for words.... all the superlatives I can think of don't completly express the beauty of this piece
And the picture is so lovely.
Dee -
very good
This was visually stunning. A beautiful poem.
thanks,
John -
Very nice, in the old style of writing poetry to match the whimsy.
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I take my hat off to yo chap, for the is the finest form
you have mastered!
Tamara -
I'll have to go and check out her stuff. This is amazing. My muse is here at allpoetry also. It's sweetbrother. This is amazing however. It's so magical and faerie like. I love this.
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thank you all for coming by to give this a read, and for your sweet comments....they're all so yummy
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This is beautiful. It is great that you have been inspired by another. We all need inspiration.
So peaceful.
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excellent
Well done Darmok...muses work in mysterious ways - lovley inspiration -
I am as ever gratful, and full of love for you, my dear friend, Joel..this is beautiful, as all these others have said, and more...you always bless us with your words here...I'm so glad that I count you as friend...
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Oh my hun
This is just beautiful
Do hope you are ok and glad you were inspired to write this
I got up some new ones
Do drop in on me also
Luv ya hun
Susan~~~
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first of all lovely pic and nice bg - for some reason, even with all of these soft yellows and greens I am thinking of laying in a field of flowers and looking up at the fluffy white clouds in a faded blue sky - very relaxing and flowing - being inspired by the people we enjoy reading is wonderful
:] -
You at your most beautiful, Joel.
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in one word - beauty. .. in another - peace, and a third - serenity.
Tin snipped windmills
turning in the breeze,
lusty autumn winds
cast aloft burning, yearning
...yellow
leaves.
** I adored this stanza.
I would say more, but there is nothing more to say. I will definitely read some more of your work
do come see me sometime
~Scarlet -
A wonderful write. I have to go find the poem that inspired you to write something so beautiful.
Gypsy
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* * * * *
Oh my ....honestly I did not read the other comment on this piece first , but after I did I realised we used almost the exact kind of words I do believe that should boost your ego now 
Reenie
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Inspiration ....with style , grace and class , needless to say a way of language that never fails to speak to the innermost part of the reader .
I am happy to see that your inspiration and muse has found it's way out of that dry spell
as always , bisessss and keep writing . You do inspire too , even though I seriously doubt that you are even aware of it
Reenie
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A magnificantly poetic comment.
Proof that a poet doesn't write poetry, they think in poetry.
Brilliently done, with class, style and art.
Andrew
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