Time flies by, are you watching as it does?
Watching as the world passes you by,
watching as the world continues to function,
as you sit here and moan and cry?
Wasting your time doing nothing,
while others laugh and live and die?
Do you watch as time flies?
Missing no one,
leaving no one behind?
I do.
It's passing me by too.
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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No one is kept back as time passes; we are all prone to age and one day die. No matter how rich or strong we are, we cannot turn back time or keep it collected in a bottle as the song goes. Liked the flow and message you share in these lines.
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i love all the different questions you have asked in this poem. wonderful!
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Speechless!
omg i am so speechless i dont even know what to say!
it was great awesome brillant perfect!
you are totally entwined to your poetry.
you know i need a great poet like u to
read my poetry and comment on it
my url:
allpoetry.com/redroseturnsblack
try my haikus and tell me what you think
of all the poems i have ever read i dont think i will stop remembering this one
keep writing u hav alot of potential
BEST POEM EVER...(exept for some of mine )
Sara Hack -
It is this kind of writing [the message in between the lines] that reminds me that there are times when, yes....I just idly watch time go and or fly by. Then I realize what a complete waste it really is , as even in every bad situation, a little of the sun shines through and I try to take advantage of the simple yet ever so joyful moments and try not to let them pass me by. Thank you for the little reminder.
The last stanza then relates to you personally doing the same thing [just watching it go by] May I suggest that maybe you edit it with a little stronger closing....for example something along the lines "I no longer will" or after your line of "leaving no one behind" you might want to add " no one and nothing but my own guilt, I will live instead of observe" Those are just examples , but I am sure you know what I am trying to say. I believe by making a personal resolution would give this write as much strength as it calls for in the beginning. All in all this has a lot of potential...and they do say that a poem is never finished...a lot of poets keep editing over and over again. Please know this is merely a suggestion and not a harsh bashing or critiquing
thank you and best wishes to you in your writing endeavors,
reenie
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A wise pearl in this poem...
It is interesting how time can fly so fast at one moment,
and so slow at others especially if anguish or agony
is involved!
I thought you wrote this well, a little repetition here
and there but not enough to distract the message
and be enjoyed by all.
well done dear poet, well done!
keep writing, I think you have a deep soul and peeking
it out slowly...one line at a time!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen : ))
Seattle.
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Simple message, great last line. Very memorable and touching--makes you think.
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I can sense the personal side to this poem. A simple thought, simply expressed. Could you have developed it more? Hmmm... I don't know. Thank you for sharing this with us.
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umm.. do I? You make me think... goood job
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Is this about me. . . (suspicious tone and shifty eyes). Just kidding, I really like this a lot a lot a lot. Yay for Sam!
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