wiiinnnnterrr.
even the word
is cold.
it starts with a breath of a w,
a soft gust of air
that holds promise of things to come.
the i draws the breath out, sharpening it
almost as if it's a wind at the door
trying to find purchase
between roughly hewn logs.
the n speaks of pause, of waiting.
of being snowed in,
surrounded by white sound
and white snow.
it speaks of snuggling under blankets
with hot cocoa.
it speaks of enjoyment.
the t is sharp. the t is a peak,
a gust.
a crack of ice during a lull of silence.
the e and the r work together to welcome spring,
forcing winter to relinquish its hold.
the e and the r are a lullabye, singing Jack Frost back to sleep
for another year.
A contest entry
- Winter by AJ Morelli.
1000 points, ended January 23, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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"trying to find purchase
between roughly hewn logs."
It lines like those that make me want to devour your brain. *nom nom nom*
Very Robert Frost-ish
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you had me at wiiinnnnterrr...lol
interesting piece, thanks for entering
al -
Oh! This one's really cool.
I like how you were playing with the word and the sounds and how you feel it fits into the season that the word means. It has this great conversational tone but you kept it real poetic with all the imagery. I thought you did a great job here.
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Splendid
A most original and interesting approach. Good luck in the contest.
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well conceptualized prompt, my bonus is not spilled towards you
what an original take
reading it flooded out of me by the intimacy of reading your words warmed by mouth understanding, wanting to analyze from a window but open it too like the terms for what we view...
you tuned my attention to the rhythm of description and then going into the narration of how incidental declarations on chattering teeth have a semblance for numb feelings --
my ears went up from the "w" being sounded soundly.
the brightness in that strange harshness of a consonant at that time, by anticipation of vowel like a turn of seasons flashed through to be reminded or dealings. thus "the i draws the breath out, sharpening it" with the thorough chasing or caging against that.
wonderfully holding the tongue in lines over 'n' with elements that could be turned to savoring.
cyclic endurance seemed with 't' welcoming climax versus just beginning though
the ending seeming rushed to excitement taking up typical told story with personified characterization of switched temperature roles, while earlier linguistic exploration with literal was so responding instead of just repeating exaggeration. then less tight~
logical feeling,
also called
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