Here it comes.
I can feel it.
Boiling up inside of me.
I'm about to lose control.
Muscles are tightening.
Mind ain't thinking.
I'm losing my grip trying to crawl from this hole.
The pressure is mounting.
Answers can't be found.
The clock is ticking.
It's counting down.
Tick tock.
Tick tock.
I need more time.
There must be a way to stop this clock.
Get a grip.
Can it be done?
I'm about to slip.
This can't be fun.
Time is about to expire.
My eyes can no longer cry.
I feel like an assassin for hire.
But it is I who is destined to die.
It's over.
Times up.
The clock can't tick tock, tick tock,
tick tock, tick tock
tick tock tick tock
tick tock......................SILENCE
Author notes
suicide...MCR
In a list
A contest entry
- Emotion Filled Suicide Note by DarkLotus4Life..
300 points, ended February 21, 2008, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - so..how about the bronze winners now? by Cat10.
600 points, ended June 2, 2008, 31 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Suicide Solution by Blood Magick.
540 points, ended July 26, 2008, 79 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Very nice poem! Thanks for entering my contest =]
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thank you for entering! great! the suspense was great! and amamzing imagery! nice job and good luck in the contest!
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Eurgh, very creepy... but I guess when time calls, there's no escaping the hands of death... I like the layout of this, eerie but very relatable to some who have contimplated the action itself. Great song too.
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Nice imagery, made me nervous like a panic attack (which means it did its job pulling me in). Nice and frantic, would make a good up tempo grundge riff.
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Cliche
Honestly, this is very cliche with highly forced rhyming. The colloquialism of "ain't" is honestly distracting.
This is certainly a rush of emotions and images, of which I love. This has power, but the cliche theme and rhyming just hinder what this poem could be.
Nice job overall and good luck.
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This was a great poem. I remember reading it before, I love it.
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it feels rushed....which, I am assuming is the point.
I like it for that reason.
A wonderful piece all in all.
Thanks for entering.
Cheers,
S -
I was supposed to DQ it 'cuz it exceeded 60 lines but I loved it so much I was tempted to stop,thank you for entering the contest!!!
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I think the ending of this worked out really well ... I like how the flow affected the emotion .. nice idea, too bad we all have our clocks ticking away ... Thanks for the entry
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great, amazing poem. I could feel the emotion in it. good job.
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A nice dark poem. Thank you for entering it in my contest.
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Thanks for your entry. Its a beautiful poem. Thanks for sharing it with us.
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wow this was realy great
you did a great job with images on this poem
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