I awake in the morning at a lingering pace.
Head to the bathroom and splash cold water on my face.
I look into the mirror and what do I see?
But disturbed eyes staring back at me.
Think to myself as I bow down my head.
If anything last night had gone unsaid.
Thinking of her and her beautiful smile.
I pick up the phone and I proceed to dial.
What have I forgotten to tell this woman I adore?
And Suddenly I drop the phone on the floor.
What the hell is the matter with me?
I grab the car keys and quickly I flee.
She must be pissed at the way that I left.
I knew there was something I had to get off my chest
Speeding down every highway and road.
Passing red lights and skipping all tolls.
To her front door I run with a blast.
Bang bang bang bang, she opens at last.
Sit down my dear, I have something to say.
HEY MA, WHEN WE WENT TO DINNER LAST NIGHT, SORRY I DIDN'T PAY.
Author notes
option # 8
option # 2
In a list
A contest entry
- Make Her Laugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! by Talking Toni.
800 points, ended March 12, 2008, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - #47 Something to laugh about by daviscth.
475 points, ended February 27, 2008, 28 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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hehehe. what a jerk, not paying for dinner with his mommy. Good luck and thanks for entering my contest!
~cheers~ -
Great title, with extra punch in the concluding line! Very enjoyable tale, set up for (yawn) another cliche lover's spat and then--skewered on the humorous twist at the end! I really enjoyed this!
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Funny
What a fun poem. I'm laughing and it gets you excited to see what the ending is. Very Funny and I loved the rhyme too. Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest.
Many Blessings
Kelle Marie
stavykm
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Wow I really liked this. It was definitely cute and I wasn' t expecting that sort of twist. It surely made me smile. Very nice job.
Good luck in my contest and thank you for entering.
ale xox
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this was so cute! You really played
it off in one direction and then
totally switched it at the end, and it
is a very cute ending!
good luck in the contest. -
LOL. I just loved the ending to your story. This gave me a delightful feel good feeling. I'm so glad you posted for me.
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A Funny Twist..............
at the end tied this piece together nicely, bringing more humor with the big surprise. Thanks for your entry and the best of luck in the contest!!!~~Toni~~ -
a great poem very happy full of emotions of love
the ending was fantastic good luck in the contest and keep your pen flowing
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This is more than a smile-(Laugh) is what I have for this one. The twist on the end brightens my perspective and lightens my read. I enjoyed the thrill of the ride to that special one. My first impression was for that favorite special friend/lover type person. Wonderfully written and gently lets the reader lead themself down the wrong path to a lovely surprise. Thanks for the read .
chiefmac
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.Neat.
This is a treat to have the surprise at the end. That is very neat to do and you did it well. I enjoyed this peace.
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Oh my pappa,
your rhyme made me smile, glad to know that you are a good boy and adore your Momma and that you went back to pay for the meal,
Delightful,
Yvette
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Lol! I loved this write, it keeps one's attention throughout, and the twist was really unexpected! I imagined many endings to this when I was reading, but not this! Thanks for the laugh
Hugz,
Sunflower.
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Awesome picture! Unexpected twist I assure you!
Great poem, it rhymed very well.
Good Luck!
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this is really good thanks for entering and making me laugh
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Lines 13-16 do not seem to rhyme well. I would edit these. Then I think it may flow better.
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hehehe. this is nice. thanks for joining.
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HAHA... I've soooo done that before!!! I've even left the restaurant forgetting to pay altogether!!! and had to go back the next day!!!!
But... as for this experience.. that's what mum's are for!! they luv ya anyway
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The last line completely floored me. Why would you pay for your mother's dinner? Is she mean or too poor? Let the old fart pay for herself.
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oh you were in hot water almost in this one
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