Twas the night before Christmas and all through my friends crib.
People were partying and eating on ribs.
Music was playin and brotha's were gettin high.
Sista's were strippin and grinding on men's thighs.
Shaking their ass to the sound of the beat.
Booty's were shakin as brotha's sat in their seat.
When all of a sudden came a knock at the door.
It was a pimp with a feathered hat accompanied by his whore.
He didn't have a pot belly or red rosy cheeks.
He didn't were a red suit or have black boots on his feet.
He was the Santa who was sent straight to the projects.
He wore a double breasted suit and all sorts of gold objects.
From the gold rings on his fingers to the diamond watch on his wrist.
He had come to this crib to fulfill Christmas lists.
He walked through the door and sat down in a chair.
His ho sat on his lap and rubbed her fingers through his hair.
When out from his jacket he pulled a red and white sack.
It was filled with dead presidents and heroin and crack.
Quickly a line formed and people began to gather.
I sat down on the couch to see what was the matter.
I could not believe what my eyes did see.
Like the days of old it was a form of slavery.
Only this time it was a narcotic that shackled their feet.
The chains of addiction had trapped em in their seat.
A crib filled with addicts who felt they had nothing to lose.
Bound by today's slavery of narcotics they choose.
When Santa was through he got up from his chair.
With a smile on his face as though he didn't even care.
He walked to the door and then turned off the light.
He said with a smirk, '' MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOODNIGHT.''
Author notes
pappacass.....family member you see fit
pappacass
option # 1...prewrites
In a list
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A contest entry
- Your best, most beloved write by Austere.
2300 points, ended February 10, 2008, 33 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show me your best! by genevieve3.
600 points, ended February 17, 2008, 49 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - SEEKING AP FAMILY by Three Doves.
525 points, ended February 25, 2008, 36 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING IN THE WORLD!!!! 1000 pts. by Rdy2begorgeous.
1000 points, ended February 21, 2008, 64 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PRE-WRITES! ROUNDS CONTEST!!! by Luminescence.
525 points, ended March 23, 2008, 176 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-writes- Please read requirements. by StormGoddess.
450 points, ended April 22, 2008, 29 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Is this poem worth posting more?
Comments
1 - 37 of 37
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great poem - sounds like a rap. You use good comparisons and I like 'chains of addiction' Keep up the good work
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This poem is so unique. I can see why you so many trophies on it. I was amazed. Your rhyming is top notch, not forced at all.
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this is a funny poem, and i love how you took something so classic and turned it into something of the current times, that is really cool, i love the thought process you have put into this keep up the great writing, congrats on the trophies and good luck in all curent and future contests, -Amy
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Thank you for entering.
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DUUUDE this is fularious! i love it!
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Very creative and intriguing with an important message. The dynamic way in which you've written this really drives the message home. Thank you for your entry.
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Well, um, I can't say I relate to this or anything. Thats not my type of life or style. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
animated
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I like the fun use of wording in this piece, but within it is a serious message and strong observation. Very well done.
Good write.
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This was pretty funny and at the same time sadly true
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Hmmm... Well written. You seem to have a natural knack for unforced endline rhyming. Reminds me of "Lenny" from "Good Times"
Wonderful message in here. Write on poet. One.
Dez -
Well described write that is vividly portrayed
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congrats on the trophies. This piece is particularly hilarious. Well written too!
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i would have to say this is pretty awesome. i find it highly amusing.
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lol, cute, cute Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.
♥
whisper
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This is flippin hilarious lol I did one of these but it's a naughty one. Congrats on all the trophs good luck in this contest
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Haha....
Funny, yet serious. It's like people who joke about their terminal illness... it's almost uncomfortable for onlookers.
This poem really is sad commentary for modern times.
My first love was a drug dealer who became addicted to cocaine (I know, completely my opposite, right? Me... who has never even been drunk or smoked a cigarette). It was the most painful thing I've ever gone through - to watch him deteriorate to state where he didn't care and didn't even look like the same person.
This brought back those haunting memories (thanks, lol).
Definitely a well-written poem, using "gangsta" dialect and tone, wry humor, and a shocking ending.
Thanks for the entry and good luck in the contest. -
you are quickly becoming one of my favorites to read...has anyone ever called you brash? if so, embrace it, its a quality that gives you originality
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uh.... that was horrible.... but lol... funny
Very nicely written,
Title- 10
Diction- 10
Syntax- 10
Wowness Factor- 10
Total- 40 PERFECT SCORE... you are automatically bumped to the next round!
Thank you so much for entering and participating in my contest and good luck,
~lumin -
I like how you incorporated black people's accent [for lack of better wording] with "Brotha" and "motha" - I thought it added a lot of personality to this. I think some rhyme was forced just a little, but nothing to really significantly mess up the flow. I thought this was pretty cool. I dig it.
Thanks for entering and good luck.
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He had nothing to live for and for nothing to die,
That was the reason and answer to why,
why people take drugs drugs.
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Thank you for entering your well written poem into my humble little contest. It's well written, and very pointed. Thanks again and good luck!
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Congradulations on the gold, well deserved.
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GREAT WRITE
I do recall being at a party quite similar to that Christmas eve many years ago. I will be truly honoured to call you brother and friend. Peace and be well.
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This is Great
Very well written and so full of ironic humor. How much greater our country and our lives would be if there were no dope. This one should be run on the front page of every newspaper every day in December. Keep writting you have an amazing talent.
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This was an interesting turnabout on the wholesome Santa myth. I thought it was a little harsh in its depiction of ghetto life, but I did appreciate equating drugs with slavery. One a grammar note: neither "sistas" nor "brothas" should have an apostrophe unless you are talking about their possessions. Peace, Liz
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wow, what a roller coaster ride of words!
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Good write. At first, I thought it was going to be something funny, but it quickly changed and when I reached the end, it had given me a somber and grim message. This is a good write about a very dark and sad subject, good luck and keep writing, your words can influence more than you may guess.
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I liked this, it had a good flow.
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The flow and rhyme are spot on, Dear Poet.
Well done.
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different
makes one think life could be like that someplace. perhaps,life is like this for the wild side of life.who knows how the party goes celebrate christmas.funky junky christmas on the wild side.cool poem.
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Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
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I thought this was excellent, except for a few misspelled words here and there - wonderful job.
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good job
"With a smile on his face as though he didn't even care."
well, it's the truth
why would someone destroy anothers life
it's unfortunate
but
your work brings attention to an important issue
for sure, thousands of times
the scene you described was played out
not only in america but internationally
a party, a drug dealer arriving, the goodies and misery distributed, he leaves with a smile on his face
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this one was rather interesting. i like your imagenation in this.
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Very unique and creative
I liked it
Nice parody on the Night Before Christmas
Thank you for sharing and for being part of the contest -
Awesome!
I havea version..I'll have to remember it though.
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I love it!!
This is great!! You did a amazing job! Wow. Lol...
Thank you so much for entering and good luck!
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