snow scattered
tracks invisible
shadows darken trails
frozen icicles
suspended stalactites
swords for kids
weaving waxwings
wobble in branches
cherries' malt
Author notes
Three winter haiku (Modern)
I enjoy writing haiku as it makes one think precisely, exactly and write in few words what takes others many words to write. This form has its own attractiveness and is so fluid and meaningful in it's brevity.
A contest entry
- CHAIN OF THREE-LINED Poems of Succintness ~ Winklings Contest # 35 by Lyndon.
1150 points, ended January 30, 2008, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1668 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ribbon Sky- double tanka form or haiku chain up to three by saddie23.
450 points, ended September 14, 2008, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
-
My favorite is the middle one!
Its fun!
-
I see what Myron is driving at, but I still love the image of your second haiku here. Congratulations on the silver.
-
Excellent haiku chain.
Lovely image. Fulfills all the requirements.
-
beautiful
This is a very beautiful poem you have here. I love winter as much I like the fall. Thank you for coming to my contest. Good luck in the contest. Saddie23
-
Sounds lijke a cold winters day
very discriptive write and congrats on the gold
-
hmmm nice
dont normally enjoy haikus
but these worked well -
I can see why this won a golden cup. I so admire the poets that have conqured this poetic form. Thank you for posting this.
-
interesting, i like your explanation. However I challenge your view. Poetry is supposed to be an expression of feelings. I ask you how many people naturally express themselves in life in three lines. Do artists paint three parts of a face or landscape and leave the rest?
Thank you for entering. -
This is absolutely stunning ... x
-
This is a nicely expressed chain of poems presenting some views of winter.
-
CHAIN OF THREE-LINED Poems of Succintness
And, I have been happy to read them again, dear poet.
Thank you for your entries.
-
Oh, nicely said, truly... Three perfectly enchanting poems to savor... Lovely writing, dear poet.
-
I really like the third stanza the best here. The image of stalactites being used for swords by boys I can easily imagine
-
This is very much improved
Erika. Only the final line is metaphorical. The rest is straight, perceptive imagery. Significantly, you did manage to gain juxtapositioning of sensory imagery. Thank you.
-
Hello Erika
"birds recycle too" is an opinion and not something "seen".
"Fresh start to New Year" is an intellectual reflection; not a reflection seen in a pond, for example.
I think Myron and I are both singing from the same hymn sheet here and we are the judges.
You can easily use the raw material you have. And, I do not mind if your syllable count falls to 12.
Lots of best wishes, Ron.
-
Hi Erika - i hope you are well.
no tracks showing life
white blanket covering all
fresh start to new year
frozen icicles
nothing dripping in this cold
used as swords for kids
waxwings eat berries
hoar frost falls as all linger
birds recycle too
Ron has asked me to try to find some ‘true’ haiku in this contest. I’m looking for haiku which show some juxtaposition between two sense images. Most of the entries I’m reading are 17 syllable poems containing thoughts and opinions about nature, often containing statements rather than images. . I’m not sure that’s enough to constitute a ‘true haiku’.
i feel you have packed too much information into these poems and this means that they are not succinct.
i hope you don't mind my comments.
yours in haiku,
myron.
-
My favorite was your midle haiku it was someting i tried when i was a boy thank you for entering
-
I remember we used the icicles as popsicles and got a spanking for it, lovely flush of memories for me of
my childhood in England. well done
-
I really enjoy your nature writes!! You always take me there, where I can vision its beauty.
This is the kind of Haiku I dream of penning!!!
Maybe I should study your writing and learn from the teacher!!!
GBY
SilverButterfly
-
"
waxwings eat berries" lovely little line, great imagery thanks for entering
-
Love haiku!
Excellent job on this string of haiku. Good luck to you in the contest! So glad to see haiku in this group, thought I was the only one who wrote them.
-
Bravo!! Love this - imagery is mind-boggling and rhythm is just perfect.
Wolfie
-
very nice
very nice and descriptive set of haiku . . like "nothing dripping in this cold" and "hoar frost falls as all linger" . . good luck in the contest . .
-
I confess that I counted each syllable for each line! Wow, what a great series of haiku! Makes me happy that winter is here...such a peaceful time of year.
Carolyn
-
I'm impressed! This haiku chain is everything a haiku is susposed to be. The images ate vivid, the syllable count is perfect and the poem deals with nature. This is wonderful in the classic tradition.
Love,
Amera♥
-
I like the first very much, and I love the humour of the last one, it is subtle. That is COLD, when icicles are dry.
-
I loved this piece, it was so simple and evocative of the beauty in nature. I think you must live near to a natural place, only someone in the know, would have seen snow that is unbroken by any tracks. There is nothing like that beauty, is there? Certainly not in the city. Good luck in the contest. If I was a judge, I would consider this one of the best.
-
I love this! Made me smile this big keep up the beautiful poetry...you brightened my heart and day...thanks~ Trisha~
-
A bit of humor, and a vivid winter portrait to open the New Year... I giggled at the recycling birds! hehehe! Best of luck to you...
Adding your comment:
1 - 29 of 29
