she smoked out everyday
didnt hear a word anyone had to say
her grades drooped so low
and her writing she began to let go
they said she had such potential in her
but noone ever looked close enough to see the hurt
she loved to write she loved to sing
but she gave up all these things
and she smoked and drank and had sex
living her life such a mess
soon she didnt even try to hide it
she just no longer gave a shit
she said what she wanted when she wanted
and what she had she flaunted
then one day on the street
her friend was shot right there for her to see
over a little dime bag
that he shouldnt have had
she tried to quit and get away
began writing again everday
but someone pulled her back into hell
she fellin love and lived for someone else
she slipped under again
makin the wrong kind of friends
until one day this boy in school
saw her writing and thought they were cool
he took her hand and helped her up
asked her, for his sake, dont give up
she inspired him, made him believe
and to this day i wont forget what that boy asked me
he looked me straight in the eye
'or are all of your words, just a lie'
Author notes
option 5
A contest entry
- 136th Contest by Tarja.
450 points, ended January 3, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Addiction by poetryality.
900 points, ended November 14, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what are you thinking?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Your rhyming is off in its cadences in a few places but the content, the message is strong. There is always help if that is what we seek. Your poem is strong in its effort to tell the story so readers follow along with interest. Thank you for this entry in my challenge. I wish you the best in the contest and life.
Much Love ♥
Renee
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I like this. I like how you describe how addiction will steal all the things that you love. I also like that you show how hard it is to get away from it. It will pull you back any chance it gets. I like the title and how it fits with boy who helped you. Nice job. Keep on writing!
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That's an intense story. It's one that I am all too familiar with. I think that the rhyming was a little forced and there were a few grammar mistakes but over all this wasn't bad. Thank you for sharing and good luck.
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WOW WOW WOW. The last line is very powerful... amazing... just amazing. You deserve thes claps and best of luck in the contest!
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thank you. that stupid little boy in my school, so insignificant, helped save me, and ultimately became my best friend and my fiance. i worked very hard, and i am glad you like it.
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