It's been a rough few days… just before the New Year. My work on NYE was canceled, and I really could've used the money. I had lost my best friend, and suicidal thoughts were keeping me company.
Leaving my hangout, about 2am, the owner says: "See ya tomorrow?" I'm thinking… "Well, I might just be dead". I turned, but couldn't smile, went home and then to bed.
The following day, I visit my mom and help her around the house. I go to leave and a car pulls up next to me.
It's a woman I know (the daughter of Joe) her friend is there too, she says "Are you going to Java's? Hop in and I'll take you." I figure her dad, the owner sent her to get me, concerned because he knows of my history.
I said "No thanks, I'm fine on my own" but she was insistent, though I kept saying "No" She got out of her car to speak with me privately, but we were approached by two men. One with a knife, the other a gun (which was probably not empty).
She put her hands up, I kept mine down . He yelled "Give me your money, your jewelry, and no fuckin' around" I nodded for her to comply, which she did, the friend as well, gave them her purse, and her cell.
The gun to my head "you too mother fucker!" he said. So I slid my right hand into my pocket; told him I would give him my wallet. They didn't notice, the pocket was wrong nor my slipping a steel clawed ring on.
I made sure the crook would look to my right as I pulled my wallet into sight, but in that second, my left hit his right knocking the gun from his grip, an uppercut under his chin, the ring through his neck and above his lower lip.
I kicked his groin, and retracted my fist, his friend took a swing, but I grabbed onto his wrist, I wrestled the knife free & hit him repeatedly. I let him fall, but then I was tripped, the first guy recovered from where he was kicked.
But I was the hunter, not the hunted, and I would not let these bastards win! I went after him, swing after swing, bludgeoning him with the spikes of my ring.
POP! POP! I heard shots, one friend yelling for the other "Hurry up, get up, I think I hear cops!" But before he could squeeze another round off, I stabbed him in the foot so he’d drop the gun, then twisted it so he was unable to run.
All three of us were down, blood-soaked on the ground, I felt a purse under my hand; my adrenaline helps me to stand.
"I believe this is yours" I said, but dizziness then filled my head. She asked if I was ok, and I said "yeah, yeah, just a bit dizzy, that's - why I sway."
The police drove up and I fell to my knees. One mugger was out, the other speaking profanities. I hear a call for an ambulance, even though I feel alright…I sufferered one bullet to the leg and one to the side.
I was cradled in this moment, but all I could hear was a line from a movie about the Three Musketeers.
My lips whispered the words, but I could only stutter them out. "The M…The Man In…" The cops interjected by saying they had questions they needed to ask. "The Man…In The…Iron…Mask." I finally gasped.
"What?" The cops said, followed by the women. "This… is…the death… I have… always wanted." I heard crying, but I felt like smiling.
A genuine smile as wide as the Nile, I feel my shirt rip open and gloved hands upon my skin.
I say, again and again…
"I'm smiling… I'm smiling… I'm smiling… I'm smiling….." And my body doesn't respond, and I don't look at the medics when they ask me to. Someone is crying, but I just smile, whispering, one last time; "I'm fine…."
Flat_____lined.
Then I awoke no blood in my throat and now a frown on my face. I had it all just a moment ago drifting away to a better place; but it wasn't death that brought me peace so much as it was the act of chivalry.
By: Jaye Eryk
Copyright ©2007
Author notes
An actual dream I had.
Non-monosyllabic comments welcomed
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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from suicidal to fighting to live, I would guess that would be what the dream was about.
and you were really putting up fight
that is the purpose of life not to physically fight but to keep what you are given.
some things are hard to accept and if we don't experience pain we would never appreciate the good, knowing this doesn't make it easier but knowing there are blessing in the midst makes it worth it.
very talented writer
brilliantly done
Thank you for your entry
God bless you my friend...
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Can I stand and applaud?...well, yes, but you can't see! That was an awesome...story?...or dream? I saw you in every step, here. I love the way you write and tell a story. It always turns into a little movie in my mind. I can picture everything.
What I loved most in this one, was the rythm and the flow and the ""I'm smiling… I'm smiling…" -Most people wouldn't get the smile, but it made such perfect sense! LOVED IT...as usual!
*R
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Potent Poetry,
I scroll down from line to line, each verse seems first, from line to crime... You express imagery so crystal clearly... No matter the topic, your words weaved sincerely. Powerful is truth from past to proof, each new memory I bleed for those days of youth.. Today is so mixed up, and some never learn, but then again, some minds never yearn.. If only we had folks that cared more, we'd live much better here, and there'd be lot less war..
Thanks for sharing brother.
-Bro Timothy aka poeticweaver~
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Wow....
I don't know what to say about this...it's very well written...I like it but at the same time I feel hurt for this person...thank you for entering my contest and good luck....
Much love and Respect,
Joci -
How you do it again? It's true, crimes were always here amongst us...but it's the loss of respect for one another that's concerning me the most in this world too...
Does the chivalry has a chance to stand up and bring that back???
I wonder...it looks like a battle of just a few against the world...
But to live in a dreamworld is only comforting for a few hours, than you have to wake up again and face the facts...aren't we????
I know I have too...
But I always enjoy reading your work,and the comments, and your answers
...they are making some things so very clear, well...they make me think..I guess that's what I love the most of them...
So you read it right
I love your work
Take care
XXJeannette
;f
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I had it all just a moment ago drifting away to a better place; but it wasn't death that brought me peace so much as it was the act of chivalry.
Your endings are always so perfect.
Chivalry dead?...I know of a few out there that believe it still exists. Makes me wonder though, when it would count, how many would display such an act?
Interesting dream...love your title. Good luck...
~B.
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Pretty. What an awesome write. I loved reading it!!
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Compellingand weird, in a good way =)
"But I was the hunter, not the hunted, and I would not let these bastards win! I went after him, swing after swing, bludgeoning him with the spikes of my ring."
Now that sounds like something wouldn't everybody like to do to their enemy? I love that you said you weren't the hunted. It's very...kick-ass. =) Like, literally.
"no blood in my throat and now a frown on my face"
And it was all a dream! It's a classic standby writing device, but you put your own twist on it because you didn't state that it was blatantly not a dream.
Oh, and chivalry comes up again! I love how you crop that word in your poems frequently. =) And this definitely was different from your other poems, so you succeeded in "keeping it fresh".
Jessica
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One. if you want what this poem really made me think of and feel then I'll message it to you because it's way too personal to leave that type of comment on here. My mind just seems to be wandering off tonight. You and your chivalry. You're always using that in your poems aren't you?
<3 -
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Chivalry is important to me. I can't stand the world and what it's become. There's always been crime, but there was also a time when people treated one another with respect. When men were honorable. Chivalry... you won't see much of it, but you'll get it from me.
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This is true!
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So this was a dream? wuh, man.
"I had it all just a moment ago drifting away to a better place; but it wasn't death that brought me peace so much as it was the act of chivalry."
dreams are an intriguing condition, i wonder what this could all mean? i was hooked through the whole write, so good job on describing it. hopefully a clairvoyant stumbles upon this and analyzes what it means.. that would be very interesting. hope all is going well with you, and keep on writing, im always waiting!
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