I am dead
I have no pulse
Blood doesn't flow through my veins
I feel no pain
Cut me with a knife
Shoot me with a gun
Burn me in flames
Freeze me in ice and snow
I won't feel a thing
---I feel no pain
Yet love's most powerful force
made me feel alive
Until he denied my love
How can I feel so alive?
The love is real,
the pain doesn't heal
I'm not supposed to feel
I know I'm dead
And yet,
love tortures me so
Giving me hope
and taking it away
Author notes
Aspects of "Tears to Shed" from Corpse Bride.
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A contest entry
- Tim Burton-esque by Carpe Noctem.
525 points, ended January 16, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the biggest prewrite contest ever by serenity silvermoon.
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Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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What happens when the body dies? Well done. Love in death isn't final. It's only one phase finished and the begining of a new reality. Nice stuff.
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Nice feeling
Nice use of contrasts here. The question- alive or dead - remains open to the reader.
It is simple, yet heartfelt and real.
Nice work
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wow , your right love is a powerful feeling
very lovely and meaningful piece
great imagery too
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it touches
a heartfelt write, can feel the flames of intense emotions, well done my dear friend :-)
regards,
Mou :-)
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Wonderful Life
Love can make us feel dead and alive
But without its pain, Its hard to survive
We need the sweetest agony
To understand the awful joy
Treat everyone as you wish
But the heart is not a toy
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I love the imagery!!! You do an amazing job of showing how love affects you even when you think your invulnerable. Keep up the great writing!!!!
Ronin
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thanks as always, bro, for your wonderful comments! very glad that you loved the imagery. i guess being in love has everything to do with being vulnderable and open. it's always best to have an honest and open relationship that you trust and i'm very glad that i have that. i'm also glad that you have it as well. hope to hear from you again soon.
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wow, this was amazing! it was so good! i love how even though you are dead, you feel alive because of love. it is great! i love your imagery and wording. Simply fabulous job! =D lolz!
-PB Fudge
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i do my best to try to amaze people, LOL! glad you enjoyed it! we all realize that above all emotions, with love we feel the most alive because that's the root of all emotion. i'll do my best to keep you happy with my works! lol
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so true and yet it seems so cruel. it's as though i have nothing more to say... this poem says it all. about my life and many others. nice job.
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i'm glad that my poem touched you in such a way that it practically made you speechless. love can be tender and it can be cruel, but that's because such is life and we all know this. life and love are basically one whole and we all feel that. again, i'm greatful for your comment and glad that this poem touched you so!
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oooooooohhhhhhhh, this is very intense and filled with the pain of lost love. It does make you feel dead, dead inside and you just want to scream out. Your words were filled with vivid images and I wanted to reach out and give life where it was fading into blackness. Thank you for sharing this poem with me and keep writing poet. An excellent piece.
seamaiden ♥
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your comment here is breathtaking! congratulations, you have brought me back to life with your words! very glad you like it and also glad that your comment makes me feel good about my work. you are very welcome for this poem and i'll try my best to try to get some more works out there for you to find and read and hopefully like as much as you did this one.
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"Love tortures me so
Giving me hope
& taking it away"
Great lines! How true it is that love can be like a double-edged sword.
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so agree!!!
i so agree with love being like a double edged sword! thanks for the comment!
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I liked the beat and flow in some parts, though others seemed sort of choppy and repetitive. Otherwise, it has well-put emotion and is a good poem. Thanks for entering, and best of luck!
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i'm glad that i got the chance to enter your contest and i'm glad that you liked my poem!
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