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Going Through The Motions

Missing image



She was going through the motions
her life seemed such a waste
filled with days of numb emotions
letting go seemed in good taste.
Her eyes had lost their sparkle
her smile had lost it's way
now she sits alone each evening
waiting for the break of day.

 


When did it get so lonely
the passion disappeared
she played the chords quite slowly
as the onlookers just jeered.
She gave love with her whole heart
not expecting a return
did he know how bad he broke her
how was it he never learned?



Her dreams extinguished slowly
as a candle without air
wanting to know the reasons
she had so much grief to bear.
She was going through the motions
her life seemed such a waste
filled with days of numb emotions
letting go seemed in good taste.

Author notes

Picture is titled "Les Roses", by Peder Severin-Kroyer

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A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • Sheilasbabygal4life
    October 13

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very moving, and very sad poem. I enjoyed reading this. I can't realate too this but I know there are people out there that can. This was good. Thanks for entering and best of luck too you in the contest.

  • ignored-introvet
    June 9
    Edit | Reply
    this is a very sad poem i can relate to...for the past few days ive been expressing this type of emotion thru poetry....tears are just falling out of my eyes because this person you are talking about is under going the same situation as i am.....thnx for the poem

  • Lord Mathias
    June 9

    Edit | Reply
    This was a great poem. Not your average depressed poem. It seemed to have much more depth and feeling. The words paint a story that one can easily follow, and its well constructed too.


  • Still Standing gold member
    June 9

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing

    This poem speaks the picture in words very well. I enjoyed every single word of this, thanks for sharing. What an excellent write!


  • sesshandkag
    June 9

    Edit | Reply
    I like how the four lines at the end are repeated at the end. It makes a very circular image. I enjoyed your poem.


    • Ethereal One gold member
      June 9
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for reading and commenting on this poem.
      I am happy you enjoyed it.

      Jeannette


  • Jay81
    June 9

    Edit | Reply
    A great verbal portrait of the dissapointments that life has to offer lol. Well done here, creating a strong visual for me.

  • pruedence
    June 9

    Edit | Reply
    "letting go seemed in good taste," I like this part the best....lovely words of emotions...beautifully said. Well done, thanks for sharing


  • tammerann
    June 9

    Edit | Reply
    I think you did a beautiful job on this piece. I loved how it flowed and it really caught you and held you while reading. You can feel her pain.... thanks so much for sharing this with all of us! Great job!

    • Ethereal One gold member
      June 9
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for reading this poem. I appreciate your insightful comment and I am glad you enjoyed it.

      Jeannette


  • Confusedboy
    January 11

    Edit | Reply

    Wowww

    This dripped with emotions of sadness. melocholy. I am happy I found this one, It was wonderful, as i could fully relate. Thank you for sharing a part of your heart and feelings.


  • Never Fall in Love
    March 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    The repetition at the end is powerful - almost as if it was biting at my insides. Your rhyme was perfect and the flow was good as well. Heartbreak is such a cliché topic, but this rolled off the tongue like that so that you didnt have a chance to stop and wonder

    Never ♥


  • Desire gold member
    January 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow!!

    This is one Powerful piece Beautiful and You have such a way of bringing forth images
    in each line~~
    Capturing the reader in a spell
    Love this one...it does tug at the Heartstrings

    Magnificent expression that swells the windows
    Her dreams extinguished slowly
    as a candle without air
    wanting to know the reasons
    she had so much grief to bear.

    Thank You for sharing Your Heart also Spirit~
    Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
    Best wishes too
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • Blushfulmoon silver member
    January 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    excellent~

    Sad but penned so beautiful as always...
    Some days that is what I do go through the motions...
    I too can relate to you word in this poem....
    At some point I think everyone can in their lives...
    This should be in a contest sis
    It would be a winner..
    Love ya
    Your sis
    Susan~~~

  • Liquid memories
    January 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    sweetly written.the feelings, I felt, touched my heart slowly a tear or two fell, as I related to your words, inside my mind. many of us go through t he motion, when all we want is a soft tender love, to give love and receive love. thank you so much for sharing this, totally felt this inside my heart.


  • jusaliltrubl
    January 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    so true.....

    almost speechless!


  • superstition
    January 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The title that you gave this poem was absolutely perfect!! I like where you brought the words out within your poem, and it just goes to show how great your timing for your use of language really is. My favorite lines would have to be the top two within that final stanza. My love for candles would explain a lot with it, and there was no better word than 'extinguished' as you described the emotion going through her. Great job!

1 - 21 of 21