Fall, fall down at my feet,
For I am the goddess of nightmares and dreams.
Wherever you are, that痴 where I値l be
But nothing is ever what it seems.
I値l weigh down your lashes,
I知 hope on a chain and manacled scars.
Ebony wine in long-stemmed glasses,
Chariots of fire that race the stars.
Darkness washes my clothes;
I知 carried to you on a comet痴 hot wings.
Amethyst secrets and lavender snow
Fall on me while the angel sings.
Never see me, never touch,
Just wait, I値l spin you a golden world
Frosted with diamonds, cushioned with plush,
And with impatient hands unfurled.
Author notes
Option 2: Evanescence - Imaginary
Age: 17
A contest entry
- Prewrites Or No Prewrites, Teenagers Have Options. by broken.inside.
500 points, ended January 9, 2008, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Finally Get the Medal You Deserve! by TabbyCat.
475 points, ended February 14, 2008, 23 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyme For Me by paullallady.
1500 points, ended February 24, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
What a wonderful and descriptive piece of
poetry you have penned. I really enjoyed
this. It has good flow and rythm. good
luck in my contest.
-
Congratulations on winning SILVER!
Your Poem sang sweetly and the rhyme was divine!
Well Worth It, Poet!
~ Nicky♥
-
Lovely use of imagery, metaphor, and simile throughout. I was caught up in the beauty of your comparisons. The rhyme scheme was natural and subtle as well. Line four sounds a bit short to me (the flow felt interrupted). Replacing "the" in line eight with "across" would be a huge improvement. Maybe "and" in the last line to "waiting?" I only suggest because I really got into this one. It is a work of art. Take my comment for what it's worth, and great luck to you in my contest!
-
oops. forgot to applaud.
-
exquisite. this a wonderful peom that left me breathless as well as speachless. thank you for entering my contest.
-
I found a lot of pleasure in this write. Good rhythm, good rhyming scheme, great choice of words, great imagery. I liked the colours and scents, the sensuous feeling of plush, and above all, the goddess who can spin a golden world. Well done!
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
