Since you walked away
my world has stood still
all of my todays
are wrapped up in our yesterdays
I find you there always
Memories of warm summer nights
stuck on repeat
When you walked away
you left a museum of hurt
where pain and regret
engage in a slow dance
to the sombre melody
of my broken heart
When you walked away
my tomorrow walked along with you
A contest entry
- Long Time No Contest by Malzy.
890 points, ended January 26, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
And in the end there was nothing
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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It is hard when we feel that people have walked away from us when we need them thanks for sharing best wishes always be well
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This saddens my heart. It's very nicely written and I can feel your pain in your words.
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such heartfelt words you have penned, for the leaving of loved one, robs our tomorrows and leave nothing to hope far. very good. thanks for sharing.
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Love the imagery you ued in this write, so sad yet beautiful all at the same time Very nice write.
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You have penned a beautiful but rather sad poem that reaches into my own heart. It is always hard to lose someone you love. A wonderful poem!! Sometimes the pain lasts forever but lessen a little. Thank you for sharing with us. You take care. Sandy
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Such vivid visuals one sees when reading these words - very creative metaphors used here; easy to read and understand how you feel about this break up.
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I think this is a very good write depicting someone who is stuck in the past.
Interesting imagery here:
When you walked away
you left a museum of hurt
where pain and regret
engage in a slow dance
to the sombre melody
of my broken heart
I like the interspersing of multiple lines with two lines. It gives the poem visual shape in addition to the wording.
I typically think of a museum as being somewhat orderly and organized. The only thing I would suggest is that the two sets of multiple lines might have the same number of lines. Yet, even as it is, I think it is good. I like it.
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