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Báthory And I

She spoke of sodality
with creed, her eyes
concentrated, intent
on the foetus of
my conviction.

I admired the way she stumbled
precariously over pacts,
dragging hands as bodies

until they bled like virgins.

I was nescient though --
humble as she wrapped
me in duplicity,

her fingers crude and
dropping stitches until
I haemorrhaged
through the mesh of us.

She, ever resourceful, finds a plug and
bathes in the suffering of my blood.




Author notes

Prompt: the death of friendship.

NB: The title refers to Elizabeth Báthory.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Cat gold member
    January 12, 2008

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    I have spent some time just going through and reading some of your other work- you really have a very solid gift with words- your images are well thought out and carried through-

    and you have a gift for titles- which attracts me to poetry- the title is the entire send up.. if you don't have that.. forget it..

    this is a pleasure to find in my contest.. thanks so much

    m


  • just rob gold member
    January 4, 2008

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    Amazing!

    I can't imagine a more illustrative person to compare her to. Uncle Vlad would be proud of her.lol.
    Surgical, indeed, but devoid of anesthesia or mercy.
    This is superbly constructed, and perhaps the best condemnation of a lost frendship I've ever read.

    Excellent!


    • Allyce May gold member
      January 4, 2008
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      You are far too good to me! And I am grateful - both your poetry and your comments inspire me

      Thank you!


  • tinuelena
    January 3, 2008

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    I am in love with this.

    I'd like to include this in the second AP book. Please let me know.

    Elizabeth

    • Allyce May gold member
      January 4, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I'm glad you enjoyed it!

      I'm not sure what the AP book is though - could you give me some more information? Sounds impressive!

      Thanks for your comment!

  • grm
    January 1, 2008

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    whoa! dictionary time again...lol.

    you have the most original way of telling a story.
    surgical, almost, in this write.

    and friendship never tastes so sweet, as it does after a bloody good row.



    good stuff, lady.
    as usual.

    • Allyce May gold member
      January 1, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Surgical was what I was aiming for, especially as the friendship has become so impersonal and pre-meditated. In fact, it's so dead a good row might do it some good!

  • vertigo beat
    January 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    no idea who elizabeth bathory is. neither do i have the energy nor the motivation to look her up at the moment. so, through my interpretation of the poem, i liked it, but didn't love it. could be the cold. overall, nice.

1 - 8 of 8