The images are blurred now, watery impressions
Outside your window, the obelisk stands
Yet in my mind, it has fallen.
Black mahogany lacks meaning as it
Crosses open palms:
White hands; obsidian hues of lost.
Author notes
The images are beautiful but I don't understand them...
A contest entry
- Almost Anything Goes by bloodletter68.
300 points, ended March 13, 2008, 132 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Let me know what you think. Comments and suggestions welcome.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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My Ian is perceptive in his comments, but you know he is an artist.. I am too...I guess I see your write like a painting, hard to decipher the message..Love obscured now that oncve was..."watery impressions"...the obelisk of a memory that was once strong and could stand on its own. I think you struggled with this prompt, but the poem had terrific imagery...
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The images are beautiful but I don't understand them...
The images are blurred now, watery impressions
Outside your window, -
i think of love initially, love lsot in time, a painting that has faded, but not quite gone.
the obelisk stands
Yet in my mind, it has fallen. -
sorrow has pushed the smiles intot he ground and now all there is is a black spaced-shape.
Black mahogany lacks meaning as it
Crosses open palms:
White hands; obsidian hues of lost.
perhaps the woden life, numb on the outside but inside palms are rubbing pain, hands as pale as yesterday's dreams.
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Very interesting, kind of reminded me of somebody who lost all hope and has no meaning in life. Has no will to continue. Life is a blurred confetti of colors.
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I love the word usage in your poems. I tend to be to vague sometimes. Keep up the good work!
The words you use brighten your poetry. -
wonderful diction!
I love the imagery as well.
I think you meant "in my mind" in the third line.
Very lovely, brief write.
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Thanks for the correction, Auburn Sunrise. I hadn't noticed my slip.
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I love the suggestiveness of deeper meanings and subconscious memory in this poem, with such carefully chosen words. One could be looking at a garden obelisk while the symbol suggests the fall of a distant epoch, the suggestion of slavery and the strong protection from the past of obsidian. You are an excellent and thoughtful poet. These of course are my impressions formed by the images
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Much of the best poetry is a mystery, even to the writer. The images are beautiful, and meaningful.
The subconcious shares what we need to know, be it in dreams or in words that form a poem. No doubt the meaning will firm up for you - now or later. One day you will understand.
A nicely visual piece. Than you for sharing.
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