Your Poem
I look at your site
And I see words
Lovely words
Staring back at me
These words have no form
Every line is capitalised
There is no rhyme or flow
And God forbid there be meter
I am not reading a poem
I am reading a story
A broken story
This tells me nothing
Except I may be at the wrong site
Only I am not
This is really your poem
I cry because I know great poetry has been lost
And I had helped this happen
Might I suggest some Byron
Tennyson, Shakespear, Baudelaire even!
Anything to awaken the foundation we were built on!
Let us revisit the tims of old
And LEARN from them, shall we?
http://allpoetry.com/poem/3687700 10-8-07
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The Poor Man's Fortress
There's a castle
made of cardboard,
one can afford;
No need for landlord
Rent's no hassle.
This is the poor man's fortress.
There's a feast
made of trash,
it's a stash;
No need for cash
FOOD at least!
This is the poor man's fortress.
I will visit you only to dine,
and to ask for a glass of fine wine...
You abode is furnished better than mine
Please! don't mistake this for a pine!
There's a life
made of dreams,
Better it seems;
No need for schemes
Minus strife.
This is the poor man's fortress.
http://allpoetry.com/poem/3717926 10-17-07
A contest entry
- First and Last by CarolDesjarlais.
525 points, ended January 4, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What are your thoughts?
Comments
-
Both poems show the struggle of a poet as they try to deepen and deepen their ability to write and why. The second poem felt like hard work and yet experimentation to lvie up to the caution of your first poem. ty so much for entering.
god bless the broken stories
-
smut
Before I die can i build a temple ..to you? -
-
Hahahaha
I'll help you build it. No, actually, I wasn't sure how I liked either of these. They were not my best work. Not even close. But really, how can I pass up a contest like this one? Thank you for the extra boost of confidence, though. It is appreciated.
-
Adding your comment:
