It's early morning
The first day of the new year.
Daylight edges near.
The future is my fear.
What does it hold?
Like the past,
Too many times of cold.
My thoughts mature
Bodies become old.
What am I looking for?
Remembering the faces that I wore,
Always wanting more.
Who am I
Behind this door?
Staring at my reflection
All I see is imperfection.
Author notes
Option 3
A contest entry
- DAWN--Happy New Year! by micol.
525 points, ended January 13, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Self-reflection: Write to your past OR choose an option by we lit a flame.
600 points, ended February 8, 2008, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Though I felt the rhythm wasnt quite as syncopated as I would like, very thoughtfully written. Good luck!
~Cordelia -
One of the strengths of the poem is its interesting use of rhyme, not a strict pattern but rather an intermittent weaving of sounds that matches the emblem's flow of color. Thank you for taking the time to enter the contest. You did a solid job with the prompt.
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A solid response to the new year and to the prompt. Its strength, I think, stems from the rhymes falling in unexpected placed throughout. Links the piece into a fluid whole. Thanks for the entry.
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It seems as though the ending of a year and the start of another turns us reflective. We turn inward, taking stock of ourselves. You caught the essence of this very well.
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I love the line "Remembering the face that I wore."
Some good rhyming here - it doesn't have a rigid pattern.
The last line though (All I see is imperfection) leaves me with a feeling of hopelessness and defeat. I was hoping it would end on a positive note.
Good job!
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