Lush crimson fades to charcoal ash -
an expression of the forlorn, fragile beauty of death,
held in its darkened, lifeless perfection
until one light touch turns all to dust -
crumbling into a ghost of what has once been,
blowing remnants of the past away
with each meaningless whisper
from a memory's silenced lips -
withered in time.
Author notes
Prompt; Title: "Roses Are Dead".
A contest entry
- Color me Morbid by Never Fall in Love.
390 points, ended January 7, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critique?
Comments
-
- I'm actually very pleased with this entry and that has hardly happened in the last few that I've read.
- Remove the hyphens though - quite useless in your poem.
- I think that this being sort of one stanza doesn't add any effect to the poem at all. Try making it into three stanzas or more even if you just have one or two lines. Separation of a line and putting it away from everything else does help a good amount. Try it for effect.
Never ♥ -
um. wow. lol. this is really good
crumbling into a ghost of what has once been,
blowing remnants of the past away
with each meaningless whisper
from a memory's silenced lips -
withered in time.
awesome imagery and word choice
good luck in the contest
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